Stuck in a rut

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Stuck in a rut

Postby jase23a » Fri Nov 28, 2014 2:51 am

Last night 27/11/2014 I text my wife and asked is it ok to go to the pub with a friend to which I got a reply of no am I wrong to then think hang on I'm an adult and not a child and go out anyway?

I always have got the reply of no your not she always makes a big scene about it even when she picked me up from work and when we got through the door her parents were at our house and she made a point of shouting down at me in front of her parents so I just thought get showered get dressed and go out as soon a s I left the house my phone started ringing it was my wife wanting to continue the arguement. So I was just like whatever speak to you later

To cut a long story short I am not happy in my relationship and haven't been for a long time I'm fed up of the constant mood swings and feel like I can't do anything without some big arguement erupting this is not the woman I fell for over 8 years ago yeah I could sit and talk about it she could say I will change but how can someone change after being like this for a couple of years is it time to end it and be happy once again
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Re: Stuck in a rut

Postby snail » Fri Nov 28, 2014 12:08 pm

Well, if you were telling your wife you were going to the pub, rather than asking permission to go, it would be helpful to say that in the first text. Otherwise, if you ask her permission - "Is it OK?" - but don't pay attention to her reply to your question, then it's not surprising that she will get annoyed.

It does sound as though you are having trouble communicating with each other and have got to a point where all you can do is argue. What is behind her mood swings - do you know? I wouldn't throw away a marriage just for this - can you get some relationship counselling, such as Relate, so that you can understand each other and communicate a bit better?
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: Stuck in a rut

Postby Mrdad » Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:17 pm

It sounds like it's more than just the arguments that are the reason for considering leaving your wife. We all argue with our partners and sometimes they seem to be for no apparent reason. It's important to communicate in a relationship and if you can't it makes resolving issues difficult, as you just hold it all in till it erupts. If it's just her mood swings then there is a reason for this, have you tried talking to her? Even try seeing a therapist yourself sometimes it helps to talk it over with someone that's impartial. Then see if things improve, if not suggest to your wife that you see a therapist together to talk over your issues or concerns. And see what happens from there, but I'm guessing that there is more than not being allowed to go out! Perhaps with more iformation we could advise more?
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