Page 1 of 1

Please give me your advice. I am really not sure what to do!

Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 10:24 pm
by iiiiiii
Hi so to cut a long story short.

Met my ex at 18 in school now 23. We became heavily involved in a 3 year same sex relationship. After about 2.5 years I started doing this independently as she was working so much I got a bit upset. I had a honey moon period with this independent stage and told her i wanted a poly relationship. She was heartbroken and I was acting recklessly taking drugs going with lots of different people etc. - very unsatisfying but liberating. Throughout this time we still talked but she was colder towards me.

Anyway, I got very mentally ill and turned to her (the only few I coould trust) she came to visit me in hospital, we seemed to be friends still. Then I wrote her a letter this was in September telling her how I feel and that I want her back etc. She couldn't handle it, said I was selfish and that she didn't want me.

Then again missing lots of details. Saw her with my friend out at a party (that hurt so so much as usually it is something we would do together) and we barely talked. I was heartbroken. It's been 5 months and I am still tearful and so so upset. I sent her a Christmas gift just to be nice and she hasn't thanked me for it. She didn't even wish me happy birthday.

My question is how can somebody cut you out of life like that, after everything you shared? We were soul mates, I don't udnerstand. My close friend said that if anything were to happen to me she'd be heartbroken and that she worries about me. But I don't understand why she doesn't wish me a happy birthday out of goodwill. I am not fussed about us being together but I have NO CONTAct with someone I spent everyday with. I feel so unbelievably lonely and I think she does too - shes a very very introspective person.

I want to contact her the last time we had contact was Dec 26 - would this be a good idea? I know she is very very stubborn and so am I. I just can't lose her out of my life as a friend. One minute I am so angry then very upset - my heart has been completely broken and trust shattered.

Re: Please give me your advice. I am really not sure what to

Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2015 8:53 am
by rufio89
I think you're going to have to let her go. You were in a relationship and couldn't offer her what she wanted so she turned away from you. Then you decided you wanted her back and she said it was too late, I'm afraid that's all there is too it. It's very hard to move on from someone you care about but she's right in that it IS selfish to keep chasing her if she's made it clear she doesn't want anything to do with you. This doesn't mean she doesn't care about you, it just means she needs to NOT have you in her life in order to move on with her own. It's very hard and I do sympathise, but I think you just need to let her go.