Should I be bothered by this?

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Should I be bothered by this?

Postby cherry6 » Sun Mar 08, 2015 2:03 pm

My boyfriends best mate sends him 'sexy' pictures of his girlfriend. Now my boyfriend doesn't get asked for these pictures, his mate just sends then to him. I don't know why but it bothers me...is this normal? It makes ne feel really insecure and also a bit sick knowing that that guy's girlfriend doesn't know (I think) that he is sending her pics to his mate. Is it normal to feel bothered by this? I feel like I have no right to be affected by it. And I understand that but for some reason it does get to me. I can't be mad at my boyfriend because he just receives them from his mate but I do feel down about it but I can't explain why. Yes it probably is me being over insecure. Before this, I asked my boyfriend for his honest opinion if I was chubby be said a little bit but only there (pointing to my belly). I appreciated his honesty and I do agree with him...but when I then see pictures of this other guys girlfriend being sent to him...i dunno it gets me down...am I being over the top and over sensitive? Over insecure? I just want some honest opinions please x
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Re: Should I be bothered by this?

Postby Tarantula » Sun Mar 08, 2015 11:12 pm

This would make me uncomfortable for several reasons:

- The gf presumably not knowing = I lose respect for bf's friend.
- My bf not saying to his friend 'mate, why you sending me these pics for? She ain't my gf!' = I lose respect for my bf, for not doing that.
- Bf's friend is just a bit weird, like why would he want my bf seeing what he's 'got'. Is this the kind of company my bf keeps?
- If the gf is fitter than me, I'm gonna feel compared in a negative way, which would make me feel insecure.

So yeah I get why you're bothered. If I were you, from what you've said, I'd just be out with it and ask why these pics are being sent and isn't it all a bit bizarre. See how he responds.

I'd also get down the gym if I have any body insecurities whatsoever.
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Re: Should I be bothered by this?

Postby snail » Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:17 am

Yes, it's normal to be bothered. I would be bothered. You're bothered because you feel your boyfriend should ask his friend to stop, out of respect for you and respect to this girl, and I imagine you're wondering if he doesn't because he likes it in some way. So it's making you feel insecure about his affection for you, and making you wonder if he really is a nice guy or not, understandably.

I would state that it bothers you, and ask him to ask his friend seriously to not do it any more. If the friend persists, ask your boyfriend to delete the messages unopened. You also have the option to tell the girl herself what's happening.
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Re: Should I be bothered by this?

Postby cherry6 » Mon Mar 09, 2015 11:43 pm

Thanks so much for the replies. You've made me feel like my feelings are justified so thank you. I think my boyfriend thinks I am being unreasonable and a nagger because he said he doesn't care either way for the pictures and he didn't ask for them.i want him to realise I am not being unreasonable bit I don't want to bring it up again...how can I approach the issue and let him see that its not very respectful without bringing up the past and him getting angry?
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Re: Should I be bothered by this?

Postby snail » Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:56 am

Well you can't bring it up without bringing it up, as it were. I would state again once, very simply, that it makes you feel uncomfortable and would he please ask his friend to stop. If he won't even ask his friend, I would be questioning how much my boyfriend cared for me.

If he does ask but the friend pays no attention, that's a different problem.
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Re: Should I be bothered by this?

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Mar 16, 2015 12:05 pm

Tell him a girlfiriend has sent you pics of her blokes manhood.
Stand back and wait for the reaction, then turn around and say now you know how I feel so please ask your friend to stop sending them.
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Re: Should I be bothered by this?

Postby David020549 » Tue Mar 17, 2015 4:45 pm

It is not normal to send a naughty picture of your GF to a mate, most guys keep it to themselves, unless he is trying to wind him up deliberately. I wonder what the GF thinks about him broadcasting images of her, perhaps she does not know, yet!. I guess she is better looking in some way, but it is not a good idea to hassle your boyfriend that really will drive a wedge between you. He will be very proud of you if you get down to the gym and loose the extra pounds, you will feel more confident yourself too. You will be amazed how much better you will feel if you drop a dress size or two
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