New boyfriend lost interest?

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New boyfriend lost interest?

Postby Rarity » Wed Apr 22, 2015 9:24 pm

Hi, I have been seeing a guy now for around 3 months. We made our relationship official about a month and a half ago. He is absolutely perfect and I'm head over heels for him. We get on really well, have loads in common, the same sense of humour and so on. I actually started talking to this guy while I was with my ex partner (nothing happened between us while I was with my ex), but it was a very unhappy relationship and I ultimately ended things with my ex to get with this guy. I have absolutely no regrets, as I had been unhappy with my ex for many years, and my new boyfriend is like a breath of fresh air. But here's the thing... I recently moved into my own flat, and my new guy pretty much lives here with me. He is a huge gamer, which doesn't bother me so much, as I play games too. But very recently (especially since I got the internet) he seems to have lost all interest in me. As soon as he wakes up/gets home from work he's in my bedroom playing games. He never seems to want to spend any time with me. I've tried sitting in the bedroom with him, but there's not much I can do to draw him away from his game. He just doesn't seem as interested... we used to have sex a LOT. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. It's been just over 2 weeks since we last had sex and I'm worried that he really isn't interested anymore. The last time we had sex he couldn't "finish" and said it was too warm to carry on (to be fair, it was extremely warm in the room). But since then he hasn't tried it on. A few times I've initiated it, but it's either gone unnoticed, or ended in me giving him oral and that's it. I have tried everything I can to get his attention, being flirty with him, massaging him, making a real effort with how I look. The other night I went out with some friends, and really pulled out all the stops ( he has never seen me dressed for a night out or in a dress, I'm forever in jeans and t shirt). He text me when I was out saying it turned him on seeing me dressed like that, but when I got back he was, of course, on his game again. I tried to initiate sex, which ended up with me giving him oral and getting nothing in return, then him going back to his game and I went to sleep. I literally feel like I could cry. Surely it's too early in the relationship to lose interest this quickly? I just find it hard to understand why he doesn't seem to want me anymore. He always calls me perfect and beautiful, and he's really sweet. But physically, he is very distant. I have a child with my ex, and I'm worried that maybe I'm not "tight" enough to pleasure him, which is why he always seems to want oral? Or has he been put off because he couldnt finish the last time? He is perfect on every way, and I could easily spend the rest of my life with this guy, but I'm starting to feel really down about the lack of attention he is showing me
I don't want to be the whiney girlfriend that doesn't let him play games, because it really doesn't bother me that he does. I just wish I could have some attention and get him.interested like he was before. What do you guys think? I really want this to work between us, but I feel second best next to his game, and I'm getting very sexually frustrated. What can I do to get him to notice me? Surely the spark can't have gone after 3 months?
Rarity
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Re: New boyfriend lost interest?

Postby snail » Thu Apr 23, 2015 1:39 pm

I do think this is quite bad news after only 3 months. The lack of interest in sex is not good - whatever he likes or doesn't like sexually there's no good reason for him not to reciprocate and to never initiate anything - and the lack of interest in you when you're sitting there and he's playing a game instead of interacting with you is also not good. I would hazard a guess that there's something wrong with the relationship or there's something wrong with him. Sorry.
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Re: New boyfriend lost interest?

Postby Rarity » Thu Apr 23, 2015 4:14 pm

I was really hoping that wasn't the case... I still don't fully understand. He's so sweet. He calls me beautiful, perfect, kisses me on the nose. He tells.me he loves me, and he's always in contact if he isn't with me. Today we had sex (he actually initiated it), but once again he didn't finish. He said it was too warm again, and to be fair, it was boiling in the room and the sweat was pouring off him. But it's making me really insecure... like, I feel like I'm not tight enough for him. I try doing kegal excercises but it doesn't seem to be making a difference. I'm starting to feel really self conscious about it... I love this guy with all my heart, I've never known anyone like him and it's upsetting that I can't seem to please him anymore... I think he realises he's been spending a lot of time on his game, because he said something earlier about "spent too much time on the computer and not enough time playing with you". He talks about having sex with me and telling me I'm sexy... but his lack of interest in it and his inability to orgasm the past 2 times has me thinking other wise. I really want to rectify this, he's the only man I've ever met that I can actually see myself wanting to marry and have a future with. How can that happen if I can't please him sexually?
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Re: New boyfriend lost interest?

Postby snail » Thu Apr 23, 2015 8:09 pm

This 'tightness' problem is something you've thought up in your mind, you have no idea if it's true and it doesn't seem likely to me (or no one would ever have more than one child!). It's more likely that he has some kind of a difficulty with sex or is just not particularly interested in it, and/or has a gaming addiction. If the room is too warm, can't you open a window? I think you will have to tell him that you are worried about the sex and the lack of attention and see what he says.
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Re: New boyfriend lost interest?

Postby Minna » Fri Apr 24, 2015 1:31 pm

Forgive me, this is only my opinion and obviously I don't know your fella, but have you ever considered that he might be gay or bisexual and is trying to be a "normal" heterosexual?
Could account for the sort of gentle "brotherly" love that this lovely guy genuinely feels for you and is giving you in spades, but also not being interested and/or "successful" when it comes to the sexual side of your relationship??
Trouble is, how do you find out?
One thing you must realise, there is nothing wrong with YOU in this situation, you are loveable, desirable and you sound a really nice, caring and understanding person.
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