fiance drinking problem

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fiance drinking problem

Postby pawa » Sun May 17, 2015 8:38 pm

Hi.
We are planning to get married soon. My concern is that my boyfriend drinks alcohol too much. He prefers bars then spending time with me.
Especially, on weekends I spend most of the time alone, he leaves early morning and only returns at night.

I talk to him about this problem or maybe is the way i talk to him. I usually tell him that i do not like his drinking problem, and that i feel he choose to spend time at the bars then with me and that i feel neglected. I told him too much alcohol is not good for our relationship. he would take it seriously the day i tell him, after 2 days the problem starts again. He said i want to control him and he is not obligated to be with me 24/7. Whenever i go out with my friends or my family members, he always comes along with me but when he goes out with his friends he does not invite me. my friends became his friends but his friends are not my friends.

How do I talk to him to make him realize that i am serious about this and if he is not changing his drinking habits i will call off this engagement. I do not want to be married to a alcoholics.

Please help.
pawa
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Re: fiance drinking problem

Postby David020549 » Tue May 19, 2015 7:04 am

This spending time apart is not only alcohol related, you don't say but I a am sure that he is not in the bar from early morning to late, so it depends what else he is doing. A lot of men are keen on sports, cycling, football, golf, Motorsport and many more, that involves being away from home most of the day, when he is away most days partners are not happy wether it is alcohol related or not. Drinking too much is obviously bad and he needs to accept that but not spending time with you is just as important, so he needs to compromise, many couples spend one weekend day together and one apart if desired.

Ultimately if he does not change you are going to have to separate temporarily to convince him you are serious, then decide how you feel according to his reaction, but don't be too idealistic.
David020549
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