Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

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Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Laughter&loyalty » Sat Jun 27, 2015 11:22 am

There's this guy that I have been friends with a while now. He is single and we've both admitted our feelings for eachother as being more than friends, however he doesn't want a relationship at the moment because he's going through a tough time with a serious medical condition. We live far a part but we make it work and we're still good friends, but we've become more like friends with benefits by the way we talk to each other now. So obviously I've become much more attached.

However, he also has an ex that lives close to him. They are still friends even though they aren't dating anymore. He seems so happy when he talks about her, and one night he drank a little much and told me that he still liked her and went on a long rant about her. This happened before we started acting like friends with benefits but he had already told me that he liked me, which was annoying as I've been messed about a lot with past relationships doing the same.

I'm quite jealous of this girl. I hardly know her but I'm worried that he's talking to me like this and doing the same to her, making a fool out of me for believing him. He's not the type to do this, he's more of the geeky sort but it still concerns me. I like him, but I don't know what's going on in his head. Where do I stand with this?
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Mrconfused74 » Sat Jun 27, 2015 8:07 pm

It's tough when this happens,thankfully you are both single and able to tell each other how you feel. It's quite possible that if he has a serious condition he may not want to get close to someone again, you don't say if it's life threatening but this could be a reason behind it. He just might not want to hurt you. It's hard when you fall for someone when there is something standing between you being together. All you can do is be there for him, tell him how you feel and reassure him you will always be there for him regardless. Sometimes it takes time for someone to see you for what you really are. Good luck
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Laughter&loyalty » Sat Jun 27, 2015 11:57 pm

Thankyou, unfortunately it is quite a bad condition that can affect his life.. But I will be there for him, I just wished I didn't feel this way about he ex, feel like I'm just making up problems for myself. Thankyou anyway, for the reassurance
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Mrconfused74 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:41 am

So that might be the reason he is unwilling to commit, it's tough when you fall for someone that for what ever reason is unabtainable. It happens to a lot of people, you just have to decide whether or not they are worth having in your life as just a friend, or whether you are better cutting your losses, so that you can move on to enjoy a relationship that gives you everything you want. As for the ex it's possible he is talking to her in
The same way but that may be purely as friend would if he does really like you. And he will have feelings for her, without knowing why they split it could've been because of his illness and so his feelings
Are still there, I often wonder if the woman in my situation is telling her friends and laughing about it much the same as you feel, but we don't know and can't be sure. So if you want to be there for him, then do so reassure him your always there if he needs you, and who knows what will happen.
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Laughter&loyalty » Sun Jun 28, 2015 12:39 pm

I guess it's a matter of trust. His ex actually broke up with him, she cheated on him so it annoys me how he would want her back, if he does. I'm in far too deep of a committed friendship to leave now, but, and I'm sure you know with your situation too, it's an awful feeling to think that your emotions are just being played. I'm starting to think, if anything, I'm the problem here because of past relationships, so I'm just going to have to leave it in the past and enjoy what ever this is that I have with him while if lasts.
I really appreciate your input, Thankyou :)
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Mrconfused74 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:57 pm

Maybe he does still love her, despite the betrayal, or he is just trying to hold onto her. Your right it's not great to think someone is playing with your emotions, but when you have feelings for someone it's hard to break away. I too feel that I'd rather have her as a friend than not at all, sometimes I see her as just that but then something might happen, like something she says or does, and I think maybe she is interested, it's hard not having anyone to talk to about it. Which is I guess why I came here. I'm happy to help and hope it helps you, sometimes talking to a stranger about things is easier than someone you know. Good luck
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Laughter&loyalty » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:41 pm

It's difficult for me as I'm usually like a psychologist to all my friends, so when I have a problem, it's a wonder who to turn to. But yes, I think you should keep that girl close, she may change her mind one day.
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Mrconfused74 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:52 pm

I'm exactly the same everyone comes to me for advice, yet no one ever asks me how I really am? And it's so hard to hold things in sometime. I will keep seeing her, sometimes it's as if I'm there for her to download too, and get everything out, and maybe one day she will see I'm always there for her. Who knows ?? Women can be so hard to read lol
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Laughter&loyalty » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:57 pm

Yeah, it's annoying isn't it? I mean it doesn't take much to ask. And I hope everything works out for you, us girls can be very confusing but we're all just looking for someone who can prove and make us feel loved, it just takes some girls longer to realise that we all have a type until we fall in love, for love is unpredictable.
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Mrconfused74 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:10 pm

I guess all I can do is just be there, I always seem to find myself in this position, helping girls that are friends with their problems then finding them go off with someone else! Maybe I'm too nice lol, I'm sure it'll all work out in the end, I hope you can find what you want too! If not give me a shout! Lol
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Laughter&loyalty » Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:14 pm

Thing with guys being friends with girls, you have to make sure you don't stay in the friendship area for too long or else you become friendzoned. If you love a girl, act like you love her, or else she'll just treat you as a friend
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Mrconfused74 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:35 pm

It's difficult in my situation, I can't just tell her, not just because if it's in my head is lose a friend, but other reasons too. If it was as simple as that I may have pushed the issue sooner. But life's never easy !
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Laughter&loyalty » Sun Jun 28, 2015 9:14 pm

I'm sure she would appreciate your bravery of admitting your feelings
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Mrconfused74 » Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:29 am

I'm sure she knows that I like her, but as I said there is a complication, as in she is with someone, so although I like her, I'm not willing to pursue it. I enjoy her company, and she seems to enjoy mine, and if she told me she liked me, I'd say that if she wanted to take it further that she would need to break it off with her bf.
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Laughter&loyalty » Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:42 pm

I'm sorry I hear. I've been in that situation many times, but he knew I liked him, he just used me as a side line flirt thought think. Hopefully your situation ends up better than mine did, though I'm very glad he is out of my life now.
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