Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Mrconfused74 » Mon Jun 29, 2015 5:41 pm

Not a nice place to be in, sometimes it's as if I get all her moaning and problems then she feels better, then when she sees him she's not down! But I guess that's what friends are for in a way. I'm sure that mine will go the same way as yours if she is just using me to feel better about herself,by flirting and stuff. Don't know why but I just get drawn to these situations
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Tarantula » Mon Jun 29, 2015 5:46 pm

I'm sorry to say it, but I think you are wasting your time with this boy.

You're the fallback girl. When he can't get his ex's attention, he'll look to you for an ego boost. He'd rather have his ex back than be with you.

I know that's tough to swallow, but it's better you get clear on this now rather than waste more time and energy trying to be Nice Girl/Saviour/Caregiver when, frankly, if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Wherever he is now, he ain't writing for advice on the internet as to how to give YOU what you need.

This doesn't make him a bad guy. He's just playing matters to his advantage, like we all do in a way. But, he shouldn't be doing the ambiguous 'more than friends' thing. It's either on or it isn't. By choosing to 'stand by your man' even though he isn't your man, all you're communicating to him is 'I will stick around no matter how much you fail to appreciate or reciprocate my interest, because I'm crazy for you no matter what.' You're demonstrating that you will settle for grey area behaviour. This is not good! It's not good for you, it's not good for your chances with him, either.

I say, heavily limit contact with him and focus on other things/other guys and see how he responds. Could be, once he realises you're not gonna be the fallback girl anymore, he'll go into pursuit mode because he doesn't want to lose you. There's no way he'll see your value whilst you're showering him in attention, like all humans, he wants the one he can't have. Which is his ex.

Don't be second best. This isn't really a friendship. It's a conflict of egos that you're only holding onto in the hope that it can be someday be something more. Equally, he's essentially using the attention to solve his ego issues after his ex cheated. He just doesn't sound that into you.
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Re: Mixed Signals- I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

Postby Laughter&loyalty » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:54 pm

Oh this was a different guy, not the one I like now, not the one this post is about. That one, let's say Guy 1, was a notorious player/badboy, but I fell for him anyway cause I saw the good in him and hoped I could be the one to change him. I'm over him now. Now I like a new guy, Guy 2, the one this post is about. He's showed me how love should be, and that's probably why I'm finding small excuses- I'm not used to being without a problem. He's told me before that he doesn't want a girlfriend because of his condition, but I feel like he hints a lot that he wants me to ask, I know he likes me as he's said before but I don't know, I tend to overanalyse everything, so maybe I'm just analysing in hope he feels the same.
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