Intimacy Issues with Partner

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Intimacy Issues with Partner

Postby MrConfused27 » Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:53 pm

I started seeing this lady I met in a bar one Saturday evening. Everything was going so well and her attitude towards life was similar to mine. I felt like she was the woman I have been waiting for all my life. Everything was going well, she would laugh at my jokes, make an effort to see me etc.....once we got intimate for some reason I wasn't able to cum, I was attracted to her a lot, so don't know why.

I thought it was just a time thing, so I didn't think much of it, but then it happened again on three other occasions and this threw me by surprise. I started to feel pressure on my shoulders and in some way I've lost some attraction towards her in doing that, We went out last night and I spoke to her about it, but she didn't seem very understanding and was blaming herself. I told her it is in no way her fault, but that didn't stop her from crying and blaming herself.

She then called me cold and that I am giving up on the relationship too soon. I told her I would like us to have a break, more so for her to go away and think about this and the possibilities of it not working. I know its a negative approach, but at the same time if it will relieve more heartache for her I'd like to take this route.

She said ok unwillingly, but had said she will give me space as well, so as not appear pushy, which I appreciate hearing from her as it shows she is aware.

I just join this forum, so I guess I'd like your take on it, or if there are any relationship experts you can add more light as to why these issues are apparent?

Thanks in advance.
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Re: Intimacy Issues with Partner

Postby David020549 » Mon Jul 06, 2015 12:53 pm

How old are you, do you get aroused and erect do you view porn much.
Women do get frustrated and blame themselves for not turning you on or indeed coming on too strong and spoiling it
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Re: Intimacy Issues with Partner

Postby MrConfused27 » Mon Jul 06, 2015 8:22 pm

Yes prior to meeting her I did watch porn, not much less than before I met her and was still able to get aroused and cum with other ladies.

It has been around a year since I last was intimate with anyone, maybe that is the reason?

I'm 32
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Re: Intimacy Issues with Partner

Postby David020549 » Tue Jul 07, 2015 6:52 am

I asked about porn because as a prelude the real action its not a good idea it often has the opposite effect. At 32 if you are reasonably fit and not on medication there should be no problem
My wife and I had this problem many years ago around your age, after 3 kids vaginal muscle tone was poor and she was so wet and slippery that there was no friction in the preferred missionary position. So after a good deal of fuustration we found the solution, from the missionary without withdrawing I raise my hips and spreadeagle my legs which allows her to put her legs together and use her thighs as well to increase pressure. Wow, that made a fantastic difference to both of us, over time muscle tone returned and even today we always end in that position with her squeezing powerfully.
With a wife in bed every night it is fairly easy to find the solution, with a girlfriend she will need to be quite tolerant and understanding but the satisfaction you will both get will be worth the effort.

Hope this works.
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Re: Intimacy Issues with Partner

Postby MrConfused27 » Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:57 pm

Thanks David for your time in explaining your experience really appreciate it.

I am on no medication and I am reasonably fit as I go to the gym often. 2/3 times a week.

I am honest to say I have somewhat lost an attraction for her, but I don't know if its because of this or what, but after five weeks of knowing her its too soon for the on/off attraction no? I know its too soon to give up, but I don't know cant explain it. I just don't feel like it for anyone really. I appreciate women I find attractive, but then I don't feel like I used to on an intimacy level.
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Re: Intimacy Issues with Partner

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Jul 08, 2015 9:58 am

Do you think you are suffering from depression in any way?This could affect you if you don't have much interest. Have you lost interest in other things in life?
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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