How to get over an ex you see daily?

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How to get over an ex you see daily?

Postby jamesw29 » Mon Jul 20, 2015 7:30 pm

This is only my second post.

I wondered how many of you people are in the same situation as me.. I have to see my ex girlfriend of 5 years almost daily for the collection and return of my 4 year old son and its getting to a point where i dont think i am over her even though its been 7 months. I know she has in the past 2-3 months started seeing somebody and i do actually hope its a rebound thing and the honeymoon period will smoothly subside for my own selfish reasons as she left me because she had some personal trouble and now it seems all is well..or os it? i dont know weather that is a cop out or truth i guess il never know!.. i know i couldnt be any better or worse if we was to get back together all i want is for her to be happy but not at the cost of me feeling like my nose has been rubbed in it... anyway back on topic... Is there any helpful tips or tricks as not to get sucked in and feel love sick as im sure many people will have children from a previous relationships i just never thought it would be this hard.

Would appreciate any HELPFUL comments .
Thank you :)
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Re: How to get over an ex you see daily?

Postby David020549 » Wed Jul 22, 2015 6:44 am

I understand that you want to retain contact with your son but I can't help thinking that most days is too much, although the nature of your girlfriends "personal problems" may make daily contact nessacarry. The obvious answer to moving on is find another girlfriend yourself but seeing your ex most days will soon become an issue with the new girlfriend, in addition seeing you so often will make it difficult for your ex to form a long term relationship.
Unless there is a good reason not to, reducing contact to alternate weekends will give you both the space to move on and just maybe she will realize how much she misses you and ask you back, but don't bet on it.
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Re: How to get over an ex you see daily?

Postby jamesw29 » Wed Jul 22, 2015 6:28 pm

thanks for the reply :) .. one of the main reasons i see my son very regular is partially down to the ex wanting more money from me for maintenence, if i had it she could take it with pleasure.. plus i DO want to see my only child.. if it wasnt for the politics of the situation id have him full time and she can go and work for a living and see how tough it is to work,pay bills,rent,run a car and pay money monthly for a MOTHER to look after her child..(she has chosen to live on benefits rather than to work)... I have mentioned to her that i find it difficult seeing her and am thinking about having some time out to get myself together by travelling for a month or 2 and come back hopefully a better more confident person so that everyone stands to benefit from it... but i have been called selfish for wanting to leave him while i go and "have fun" apparently.. Any advice there?.. i really do feel like im trapped not in the daddy sense because i love being a dad, but more in how she percieves me like im doing it or saying it so she will say "oh james dont go"..which would never happen.
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Re: How to get over an ex you see daily?

Postby David020549 » Fri Jul 24, 2015 6:28 pm

Your original question was "how do I get over my ex", if she is as you describe then you should have no problem not liking her.
It is pretty obvious she is going to use every trick and emotion to get as much cash from you as possible and quite likely she will do the same to the next guy that gets her pregnant, and the next too. That adds up to about 25 yrs living off others and benefits, nice life if you are clever enough.
The best you can do assuming you want to maintain contact with your son is to keep a "friendly" relationship with her and pay child maintenence regularly, if she chooses to be difficult the system is loaded on her side, if it comes to an access fight most men loose.
If access becomes less important there are two ways that you can avoid giving her maintenence, either become unemployed yourself or work overseas, those options don't seem attractive now but if she gets really nasty you will consider them, so don't provoke her she holds all the cards.
I still think you should reduce contact, even if it means moving further away, then you will only have to face her every couple of weeks and certainly don't discuss your "new" life with her.
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