Provocative Ex Pictures in his email

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Provocative Ex Pictures in his email

Postby dawnrazor » Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:39 pm

I have been with my boyfriend for a while now and I've never been happier and or felt more valued in a relationship as I have in this one. We have an "honesty" credo between us - whatever we've been unhappy with we've managed to solve through good communication with each other. However I've reached a bump in the road which I want to confront him about but don't know how "honest" I can be.

In a nutshell, his ex, is still in the picture. I'm all for exes remaining friends if they understand boundaries but I feel this situation isn't fair. I've heard nothing but bad things from him and his friends regarding this woman. He was apparently her first love and "she never really got over it." I've been told personality-wise she's "crazy" and was even physically violent towards him in the end.

I've heard stories, one in particular where she went as far as to flirt with his best friend to make him jealous. I'm told my bf never went for it but this is still concerning for the following reasons...

I've noticed through general observation that she FB messages him near enough every day and they phone each other every so often. I found provocative pictures of her
I'm pretty sure money is exchanging hands and I'm worried he's staying at her place sometimes.

Considering all of the above I feel I have just cause for saying something. I need some advice as to what the girl's agenda really could be. Is she not over him and using him? I want to ask, but does that seem intrusive?
Last edited by dawnrazor on Wed Jul 29, 2015 8:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.
dawnrazor
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Re: Provocative Ex Pictures in his email

Postby David020549 » Tue Jul 28, 2015 7:38 am

Staying over at Jades place.
If he is being open about this either he thinks he can ignore your feelings or he thinks he can stay over without ending up in bed with Jade, because if she wants him he will not be able to resist her determined advances. As you think it has happened before and money is changing hands you have been very tolerant not confronting the issue before. Don't let him know that you have snooped his emails or bank, that will put you in the wrong but you need to discuss "staying over" as unemotionally as possible, that is always going to be difficult.
Assume that the friendship is innocent but say plainly that you don't trust her not to seduce him if he stays overnight and he should spend £50 on a Travelodge and avoid the temptation. Tell him that if he does stay at her place you will assume that he has slept with her, that puts the ball back in his court if he cares about your feelings he won't stay with her.
So you have drawn a line in the sand if he goes ahead anyway he cares nothing for your feelings, so two choices, if he treats you well and you love him you tolerate Jade or you leave him, only you can make that judgement
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Re: Provocative Ex Pictures in his email

Postby dawnrazor » Wed Jul 29, 2015 8:14 pm

Thank you David. Its nice to know my feelings on the matter are justified. Taking everything you said on board and feel more confident approaching him about it now. Thank you!
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