I Have No Idea What Is Going On After Getting Her Back

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I Have No Idea What Is Going On After Getting Her Back

Postby Lensman » Tue Aug 04, 2015 5:10 pm

I really could do with some help especially from the ladies here ? 3 months ago I broke up with my steady girlfriend, we had been together since December 2014 and if I am being honest both of us were lost soles who got it together and were making a real go of things until one day I decided she had a shitty attitude and I wouldn't live with that after previous relationships so I ended the relationship.

Me ending things were very similar to dropping an atom bomb on her and her feelings and I caused so much damage, I knew a few hours afterwards I had done the wrong thing but I did nothing to put it right.

She tried a number of times to get in touch and ask about meeting up to see how we both felt and to see if we could get back together but whenever I agreed she wouldn't bother and there were about 3 aborted attempts before I told her just leave me alone and changed my phone number.

Eventually she got hold of me after after a very long winded route, when I saw her for the first time after so long we just fell into each other's arms both of us very, very emotional.

After our second meeting we both agreed we would give things another go as our feelings were so strong for each other, that was over a month ago now and things have changed so much and I really have no idea what has or is going on.

She has gone from telling me she was so shocked to find herself having the same feelings for me, the way we were with each other in the bedroom was how she remembered it but now it's a struggle to get a cuddle out of her and as for an open mouthed kiss forget it. To top things off last weekend she said she had no intention of being lovey/ dovey with me, she appears this way at her house but loving at my flat ?

It would be all too easy for me to jump to conclusions here and get it totally WRONG, I am simply stumped by her actions
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Re: I Have No Idea What Is Going On After Getting Her Back

Postby rufio89 » Wed Aug 05, 2015 9:09 am

I'd just leave this one. It's easy to get attached to someone but if you broke up 4 months into a new relationship and you're now having troubles, I think it's a lost cause.
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Re: I Have No Idea What Is Going On After Getting Her Back

Postby Mrconfused74 » Wed Aug 05, 2015 10:19 am

So you dump a girl which in your words were like 'dropping a A bomb' and now your back together things are different???? What did you expect? She's going to be worrying that you'll do it again. She obviously didn't see it coming the first time, so feels if she gets close again it will happen again and it'll hurt her. So the best thing you can do is walk away, tell her it was a mistake trying again, things aren't right and there is probably a lack of trust between you. Move on and let her move on too.
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Re: I Have No Idea What Is Going On After Getting Her Back

Postby Tarantula » Wed Aug 05, 2015 12:06 pm

She's having trouble forgiving herself for going back to you. She may have been the one to chase, but in her mind the narrative is 'so this guy dumps you and it really hurts you... and you chase him all around after he tells you to leave him alone... and now you're back with him?'

She's frustrated at herself for going back to you and is taking it out on you. You need to reassure her like crazy and throw love at it until she can open up again. Right now, a part of her just wants to get back at you because she's holding a grudge that you dumped her.

Or you can walk away but that'll only confirm what she already thinks - that you don't like her enough to stay.

Try having an honest, supportive conversation in which you address, in a non-confrontational way, why you left her before, and why you're not gonna do it again. Go for a fresh start and romance her all over again. See what happens..
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Re: I Have No Idea What Is Going On After Getting Her Back

Postby snail » Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:24 pm

Tarantula wrote:Or you can walk away but that'll only confirm what she already thinks - that you don't like her enough to stay.


I agree with this. It's all now hit her, and she's angry and uncertain. If you are really sure you want this woman, then accept that things will be rocky for quite a while, and be endlessly romantic and loving until she can begin to forgive and trust again.
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

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Re: I Have No Idea What Is Going On After Getting Her Back

Postby lostnconfused » Thu Aug 06, 2015 11:27 am

And even when she does trust you again....continue being endlessly romantic!
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