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My husband says his accidents are okay

PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2015 4:08 pm
by ithinkimlost
Heya Everyone,

I am a married woman, 5 years of selfishness from my husband. He knows he's selfish but he asks me to take his feelings into consideration, so I do my best. He can be sweet and kind to me, a long as he has been fed. If he doesn't get his 3 meals a day, he becomes a monster.

Today at lunch, me and my husband were sitting at the table, we had moved the table near the radiator as its quite cold. My chair is situated near the door to the kitchen and for the past few days he had accidently hit my chair (I was still in it) and I just asked him if he could be careful because it hurt my back. Today, he hit my chair 5-10 times whilst I was having my lunch, I asked him to stop hitting my chair, he said it was an accident and I was over reacting about it:
- your over reacting
- you need to back off
- why are you getting so aggressive
- I didn't do it on purpose, it doesn't even matter.

To me he was picking a fight, but he is currently telling me that the situation is getting out hand and I need to talk it out, but every time he starts talking he gets aggressive and defensive and tells me that I'm over reacting. He forces his way into rooms I am in, forces conversations and dialogues with me. He makes me cry everyday, when we have good days he says things like 'what about yesterday, I didn't do anything wrong'.

I need a second opinion, what would you do?

Re: My husband says his accidents are okay

PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:21 pm
by miaow
Not sure what to make of this, but one thing I do know is if he makes you cry everyday something is seriously wrong.

Does he hit your chair when he gets up and tries to get past, or is he sat down in his chair when he hits yours?

Could he be emotionally bullying you?

Re: My husband says his accidents are okay

PostPosted: Fri Sep 25, 2015 10:58 pm
by kozmikpariah
Get a divorce. Life's too short to be miserable.

Re: My husband says his accidents are okay

PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2015 9:55 pm
by retrochav
If someone repeatedly does something against the wishes of a person, it is abusive.

Being inconsiderate, selfish, and other human failings are a part of life, but we try to minimise it as much as we can, especially with a partner. Your husband seems to repeatedly set out to hurt you, being told once should be enough for him not to want to repeat it, and yet this is just what is happening.

I would put this to Women's Aid and ask how that appears to them, and it's likely that they would tell you it is domestic violence. They can advise you of your rights and options, so when ready you can make your decision.