Can't move on from first love

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Can't move on from first love

Postby HeWhoCannotBeNamed84 » Mon Aug 31, 2015 12:16 pm

Me & my ex girlfriend broke up at xmas 2011 & I've not been able to move on since.
We were good together, knew how to make each other laugh & happy but at the time I treated her more as an option, going out with my mates all the time, partying too much.
I've seen a therapist, spoke to friends, the samaritans, tried meditating but I just don't seem to be able to move on. I have some really low moments. Everything I want now & even wanted then I had it but lost it all. I do think that it's also the love I miss, not just her, but like I said, we were great together & that's what makes it harder. She knows how I feel as I messaged her 2 months ago saying that I still loved her & every day since we split up a day hasn't gone by where I haven't thought about her, which it hasn't. Obviously I didn't get a reply, ha! But we have spoken since, today actually.
I know she's moved on but I just think it would be stupid not to try again after how good we were for each other & now i've learnt from my mistakes.
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Re: Can't move on from first love

Postby miaow » Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:40 pm

Hi

You say your ex has moved on, this makes it hard for you to give it another try. You may have to accept you will not be getting back together. You say you were both good for each other; this may not be how it was for her. You say you treated her as an option and went out with your mates partying.

Do you still go out with friends and socialise? I'm wondering if it's being in a relationship that you are missing, rather than your ex. It's very easy to look back in hindsight with rose tinted glasses on.

For years I never got over my first love, everyone I went out with didn't compare. They made me happy, but my first love just always had an edge on them. Years later I got back together with my first love - albeit briefly. What a shock to my system - he was not this wonderful person I have built up in my head - in fact he was far from it and I realised I'd had rose tinted glasses on and was only remembering the good things about him, not all his annoying things!! Since then I've never thought about him much and would never want to get back with him.

Sometimes accepting it's over is the hardest thing to do, but it also allows you to move on. With that door shut, another one will open for you to meet someone new.
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Re: Can't move on from first love

Postby HeWhoCannotBeNamed84 » Thu Sep 03, 2015 7:38 pm

Thank you for the reply...

I can agree with you that maybe it's being in a relationship I'm missing as well as the love. I have been on a few dates the last 15 months which took my mind off my ex but nothing came of these dates & my mind went straight back to my ex.

I do still go out now but not like I used to. Most of my friends now are in relationships/married. I'm told that the reason she finished it was because of my partying ways. I realise now that I should of done this partying with her.

When I say we were good together I honestly believe we were good. When I see her mum she says she misses me being a part of the family as I made her daughter so happy.

Without trying to put myself down, I always fall for girls too good looking for me. I know beauty is only skin deep but my ex had everything I wanted, beauty, humour, smart... And what I want now and even then I had it then.

We are meeting up in a few weeks whilst I am her way now she's moved elsewhere. Just as friends, so we shall see what happens but i'm not expecting us to end up back together.

My job doesn't help as it requires me to work in different locations which is off putting for relationships. Hopefully I can get settled soon with a job near home.
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Re: Can't move on from first love

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Sep 07, 2015 1:22 pm

A couple of quotes to contemplate:

Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it.

Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad.

Get your eyes off where you've been and back on where you're going.

Sometimes the bad things happen in our lives that put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.



Try to remember that you can learn from you past and bring it into your future. The relationship will not be the same anyway. Things have changed, you have changed, she has changed.
You can spend the rest of your life wishing for something or you can get on with your life and be happy.
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

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