Am I a fool or insane, strong or weak?

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Am I a fool or insane, strong or weak?

Postby justalwaysangel » Fri Sep 04, 2015 8:01 pm

I have been with my partner 8 years. We have 3 beautiful children. My mr. Started becoming very distant from me. He wouldnt spend time with me or the kids, didnt want to go anywhere outside. I thought since we had been through a large series of stressful things that he had became depressed. So I thought trying to take him out buy nee clothes, treat him involve him in things with the kids and eventually give him his own space by staying over at my mums one day a week with the kids to give him time to relax would help. He finishes at 12pm and used to say we didn't have time for sex twice a day because I was asleep when he got home so I started staying up and looking nice for him coming in. He then got angry saying he wanted to play online when he got in and his mates at work were taking the mick that I was up waiting for him. So I told him I was just missing him and thought he'd like me to be up as he had said previously it was a problem. He would ignore me and go back to his headset. Then his phone rings everytime I go to pick the kids uo or just about to go out from unknown numbers, his phone would have messages which he would say were game notifications or his brother but rarely were. He would turn me down then go straight to porn instead everytime and be snappy whenever I talked to him. I finally looked on his phone full of encrypted messages and hidden apps. When I asked him about them he smashed his phone into tiny pieces and punched the fridge saying I am a psycho. There were lots of photos of other women on his sd card and also a picture of him. The files on his sd card were for dating and local meet up points. But he says im making it uo. I found the same and worse files on the ps4,ps3, psvita and laptop. He has php bb and a tinfoil hat for facebook. Also instagram files and everything links with his email addresses especially older ones. Also a lot of hidden messenger apps. Encrypted files have been sent from note etc and he has a skype number also vpn voiper and wireless calls and Bluetooth calls.
He consistently says that he has had the ip adress hacked and this is someone else doing it to him. My head and gut are telling me that our entire relationship has been a lie. And that I should run. My heart say that I should let him get it out of his system and that perhaps after his addiction to porn this was the next step. Ive tried being reasonable, now im second guessing everything and anything he says to me. I love him and if he has done this which I really do think he has if he was honest I'd work through it with him because I love him and want to help but I also feel that its taking my personality from me I am a shadow of who I was. Ii cant eat nor sleep. Is there anyway at all this could be a hack over all devices in our home via ip also he was connected viabluetooth to somebodys galaxy nexus and sony xperia. I guess im tryinh to prove him right. Please help wish I understood these things more.
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Re: Am I a fool or insane, strong or weak?

Postby miaow » Sat Sep 05, 2015 8:01 pm

I'm not quite sure what to say, but I just wanted you to get a reply.

My gut feeling is he hasn't been hacked - my reason for thinking this from his behaviour that you have described; he sounds totally unreasonable and he is lucky that you still care for him.

I guess the hard thing is to decide if you want to save your relationship. If you do then I guess you'd need to find out why he turned to porn, and also - and probably more importantly - if he has been meeting up with people for sex. You can then make a proper decision on if you still want to be with this man.

It sounds from what you say that you are doing everything possible to please him - but it isn't working.

Could you talk to him to see if he wants to save the relationship - is he willing to be honest about what he has been up to and why he has been so distant? He needs to be honest and truthful before things can start to heal. If he can't are you willing to walk away from him?
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