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Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2015 11:39 am
by Mandy10
I've been with my boyfriend now 4 months we are both in our early 50's keep fit and have been told we don't look out ages. Went on he's computer to find he had downloaded naked pictures of women. This I was expecting but the type of women he was looking at shocked me. They are really ugly women with horrible bodies. Plus some of them are ladies in the late 60's to 70's. I was expecting him to be looking at hot young women like most men do and I have found this has upset me a lot as now I didn't know if this is what he really likes. I gym all the time,slim and he's always telling my body is amazing so why would he be looking at women like this. I don't feel I can say anything to him as I shouldn't of been looking at he's picture but I don't want this to affect our relationship.

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2015 9:45 pm
by johnay
Hi its not always easy to work out why folks look at certain images.. Your new partner may have downloaded these to send to his mates for a laugh..he may like to look at rather regugnant images to shock himself rather than as a turn on. Unfortunately you wont really know if these images turn him on unless you ask him. The indicators from what you have told us suggest that he likes trim fit ladies. Some of us dont want to look at hot young women because they are unobtainable in reality and it can also feel a bit pervy...

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 8:34 am
by Mandy10
I know he's not messing around with his mates. He's downloading then to look at again. I just don't get the horrible body bit and old lady bit. Does that mean that's what he really wants. It's not making me feel good at all. Keep waking up every morning thinking about it

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 9:53 am
by snail
It's probably the incongruity of it that turns him on.. people sometimes choose to look at porn that almost disgusts them, that's almost the opposite of what's 'normal'. It's not about reality. I really wouldn't worry about it. If he wanted to be in a relationship with a woman like that, he would be wouldn't he - there's nothing stopping him. I would just accept it as a little quirk that he's into at the moment.

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 10:29 am
by Mandy10
Guess so. But when he asked me now to send a pic of myself I can't cos I don't see the point, why look at me when he's looking at horrible other women

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:36 am
by David020549
This post has reminds me of an incident a few years ago. At the local rugby club there was a stupid forfeit scheme amongst the "lads" If any one dated an attractive girl he would pay a forfeit, the prettier the girl the bigger the forfeit. Eventually the girls got together and put a stop to it but it caused a lot of upset as you can imagine.
If your boyfriend is "one of the lads" they could have a " find the ugliest " prank going on and sharing pics, for certain I can think of no other reason. If he wants a photo of you send your very best one in beach wear of gym kit don't let him get an unclothed one he will probably share it.
Men can be unbelievably stupid.

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 11:48 am
by Mandy10
No he's not like that at all, to old and a doesn't have friends like that. These picture are for one reason only to get off on them. Knowing he's looking at stuff like this makes me not want to have sex with him so maybe it's time I had a chat, even tho I don't want to hear the answer so if he is into stuff like that, where does that leave us

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 12:20 pm
by johnay
I think what some folks watch online isnt always what they want to experience... Sometimes though it is. Sometimes we watch stuff that we really fancy doing but know in our hearts it just isnt going to happen. Its strange what can turn someone on and what can interst them.. This may be something that arouses yet disgusts. I have a gay mate and he told me once that he had been watching videos of younger lads having sex with old fat women. It really wasnt what i would have expected him to watch as he has never had any experiences with women at all.i cant tell you as a man what is going on in his head only he can.. I doubt that its because he doesnt fancy you and i expect he really does fancy you a lot especially if he is asking you to send him pictures..

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 2:29 pm
by Mandy10
I think it's better that I don't say anything as he maybe cross that I looked at his picture and maybe embarrassed. I will just have to get over this in my head and think at least it just picture and could of been worse

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 3:36 pm
by Mrconfused74
In my experience just leaving it will only make the situation worse. You need to talk about it. If not with your partner then a counsellor or someone, they can advise you on what you should do, and how you can overcome it. Is there a reason you might use his computer? Maybe you could say you saw them while doing something? Yes he might get angry or embarrassed, but that's a natural reaction. He may be using it to fulfill a fantasy, just because they are older or unattractive isn't necessarily the turn on,it could be something else.it could well be from his younger years, maybe he had a fling with a older woman, or found them attractive, and this has carried on. As with anything that involves porn, I always ask, what is it that upsets you about it? Is it the fact he's looking, or that he's using it to masturbate too? And so you feel less attractive to him like your not enough? Men use porn as we are stimulated visually, and madturbation is a normal thing to do, but some people find it offensive if their partner does it. Sometimes it helps to get involved, if he's using it just to get off, then be there with him, just because he's looking at pictures if your giving him a hand it won't feel so secretive.

Re: Boyfriend looks at naked ugly women

PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2015 10:47 am
by Celebritydiscodave
We are individuals first and foremost, or at least, we would probably be better off being. There are a minority of men that experience that which is less attractive to be more so, and again, a minority that are genuinely attracted significantly older. However, the focus upon ugly women may be as consequence to guilt. Older men are more likely to experience guilt when acknowledging to themselves that they find attractive females attractive. This guilt would obviously hasten the process of ageing. For the sake of his better well being he should be supported to find that which is most attractive to be the most attractive. They will be significantly younger, obviously. Much which we consider to be normal ageing may be as by-product to mind-set. Think old and the body is generally not far behind!
NB What one looks like is not a marker for real/biological age.