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Boyfriend doesn't initiate sex!

PostPosted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:27 am
by Sarahsmith789
So me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 5 years. We've always had a good sex life but in the past year it just doesn't feel like he wants to have sex. He never initiates it and when I do sometimes he has said no. He does initiate it on the odd occasion but mostly when he is asleep! He will try to have sex whilst asleep and when we start to get intimate he will then wake up properly and we will carry on but it feels like the only time he wants sex is in his sleep. When we do have sex it is great but he spends a lot of time trying to get me to give him oral sex which is sometimes just a turn off. He would never force me, but would spend a lot of time asking me to do that and if I don't he wants to stop the foreplay and just go straight to sex. When I bring this up he just tells me to stop being stupid but I have put on some weight in the past couple of years and just feel really insecure about this, especially when a lot of my friends say they're partners will try it every night! Has anyone had experience with this or does anyone have advice?

Re: Boyfriend doesn't initiate sex!

PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 7:27 pm
by BlueRock
Hello, sorry to hear your problem. Perhaps he is very stressed or has got stuck in a rut with regards to a sexual routine a bit like in porn it always follows a plan of set pieces. I doubt its to do with weight. I've had relationships where my girlfriend has put on a lot of weight and I really haven't noticed until ive seen photos from different years side by side.

Re: Boyfriend doesn't initiate sex!

PostPosted: Sat Nov 21, 2015 7:37 pm
by David020549
Men who are not bothered about sex is a recurrent theme on this forum and a woman's sex drive does peak much later than a mans, we are also told that male fertility has fallen in recent years, so it seems we are not a virile as we used to be.
All you can really do is make yourself as attractive as you can, if you are insecure about weight, loose it and make sure he is a sensible weight too. Regardless which partner is not keen a routine prelude to lovemaking can help a lot, set one evening aside for each other, a glass of wine a nice relaxing bath whatever you like and don't be afraid of making it a routine, if it works it is good.
Dont take too much notice of friends that say their man wants them every night, too much attention can be off putting as well.