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lasting longer - 18+

PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:26 pm
by SillyMistakes
I haven't talked to my partner about this issue (I'm a gay male) pretty sure he's well aware, but I've heard that it's common for men with ED to start blaming their partners and making their partners feel terrible, and I just don't wanna go down that road.

My partner loves rough sex, we have 'vanilla' sex sometimes, but when he's feeling energetic, he likes to put up a fight to the point that our foreplay turns into wrestling, which to be honest, part of my problem is I think I enjoy it too, a little too much. Anyway, the problem is when I've pinned him down and we're ready to start the actual "act", I'm so horned up by this point that I finish way too quickly. In fact, one humiliating time I remember I didn't even last up until then, and finished while we were wrestling. When we have vanilla, I can go quite a long time, its when we get energetic and we wants it rough and hard, I just cant keep up. We have toys, which I usually end up using to get him to finishing point, but it tears me apart that I cant do what he really wants; we've been together a while, don't use protection (we both love the 'finishing' bit too much for that, and since we've been together so long there doesn't seem much point) so those numbing condoms aren't an option, without disappointing him in a different way. I've also tried the whole 'training' thing, I believe its called edging yourself for hours, in order to last longer, but when I get down to having energetic sex, it all seems to be pointless. How can I last longer, but still give him the sex he enjoys? I've considered taking Viagra, I'm not sure, if I took it before, if it'd keep me going at the same pace after I'd already finished though, and also, I wouldn't know where to get it from apart from those toilet-machines which I don't like the idea of very much. Is there anything else I can do to help me last longer? I really don't want to keep disappointing him, it does get me really down sometimes.

Thanks for any help you can offer..

Re: lasting longer - 18+

PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 5:00 pm
by Mrconfused74
If you last while doing 'vanilla' sex then there isn't a problem in the normal sense, it could quite easily be anxiety, in that you have it in your head that it's going to happen when you have it ' rough ' what you could do is masturbate before hand, maybe together then get into the rough bit, then by the time you get to the act you're ready to go again, and should last longer, you could delay things, when you feel close, concentrate on your partner till the urge has gone. The delay exercises you talk about can work if done under the same situation, so when trying perhaps you need to get in the rough mindset! I'm sure your partner will help if they know how it affects you, and work through it together,