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Dating for the 40+

PostPosted: Sat Feb 13, 2016 7:43 pm
by Leigh72
Evening all, thought I'd share this with you and see what comes out of it. I'm a 44 year old man, not bad looking, have a good job, car, house etc and was recently dumped out of an amazing relationship with a woman that I still adore. I should probably add that it was all her issues that brought us to an end and she freely admits it. Not really looking for another relationship yet as I'm nowhere near over her, but I have been conscious of the fact that I wouldn't know where to go to find another one. I have a good friend who is a similar age and in a similar situation, albeit he's been on his own for over a year now and ready to 'get back out there'.

We go out and have fun on the town, but we almost always comment on the lack of single women out there. Years ago, you'd get your best shirt on and hit the town and away you'd go. But there's something distinctly undignified about a couple of middle aged men 'on the pull'. So where does one go these days? I've had a quick look at some of the online dating sites that are operating, but it's fairly slim pickings from what I can see!

When the time comes, I really don't want to be on my own and I don't think that I deserve to be on my own, but it's looking a little bleak.

Re: Dating for the 40+

PostPosted: Sat Feb 13, 2016 9:46 pm
by wakeupbomb
I'm sure people will tell you to join clubs, etc, and be social, and there's a lot to be said for that. If you look up singles groups, meetup groups on the Internet then there will be something near you.

If you want a more direct option then you could consider an introduction agency (don't get them mixed up with escort agencies because they are very different!). I can't say that I've tried this personally, but if you're solvent and a good catch then they are worth considering if only for a short period of time. There is a guide to them here:

http://www.abia.org.uk/agency-types/per ... roductions

Online dating can be an endless and unrewarding slog and I personally think bars and clubs are rubbish places to meet anyone, let alone a lasting partner.

Re: Dating for the 40+

PostPosted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 8:36 am
by David020549
I don't think you will "pull" many girls in bars these days, most of the single girls your age are at home with the kids in the evening which complicates it great deal. There are plenty on dating sites looking for a man, otherwise meeting them at work or recreation activities are good options, don't rule out a younger age group a lot of girls in their 20s are fed up with immature guys.
My nephew is 44 and after his divorce met a girl half his age, she is a gem, the nice girl next door every guy wants, he looks years younger and they get married in April

Re: Dating for the 40+

PostPosted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 4:00 pm
by spacegirl
I'm not single but I do have a lot of friends in mid-thirties who have embraced online dating for the following reasons:

1. With working full time, busy jobs it is a nightmare as we get older and more established in our careers and lives to see our friends and catch up on each other's lives. When the girls do meet up, it is often genuinely to spend time together and catch up on missed time. There's nothing worse than getting chatted up in a bar when trying to enjoy cocktails with your girlfriends.

2. (This was also one reason I tried online dating) When you meet someone in a bar you don't know their intentions: are they in it for a one-night-stand, a fling, or do they want something more? People are upfront in online dating if they are looking for a long-term relationship. You would never ask someone you recently met in a bar if they are looking for a serious relationship! They'd run a mile!

3. You can spend time getting to know someone before deciding if they are worth sacrificing a friday night on a date instead of catching up on sleep after a hectic week!!

As I said I'm not single but I did meet my OH on match, because I was sick of being propositioned for one-night stands in pubs, and the above are insights from my single friends. There's a lot to be said from meeting people through mutual friends, in work and in bars but where this doesn't work out, there is nothing wrong with finding someone online.