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Advise on weekend 'fling'

PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 10:03 pm
by LJ2016
I need some honest advise.

I went away for an activity weekend - games and things are out on by a group of actors.

Anyway, I met this guy who was staying in character most of the night. But as the evening went on, we danced together, drank together and laughed together. He ended up siting next to me and made a point of having me touch his leg. I accepted this as a sign of interest and went with it. I joined him outside for a cigarette and he came out of character, talking to me like a normal person and we chatted and laughed. Eventually he told me to meet him back at his room but he was nervous as he was working and didn't want to get into any trouble for it. So he made his excuses and I followed him ten minutes later.

Back in his room we drank and chatted for a while and then we had sex. Afterwards we chatted some more about life and his work outside of the acting thing. He took my number before I left as he said it was unlikely he would be around for long at close of play (when everyone comes out of character) and this didn't seem weird to me as I've been to these weekends various amounts of time and it's always been the same.

Next morning I saw him a few times briefly and he spoke to me as normal, I brushed him off slightly once as I was with a friend and he seemed a little hurt (or embarrassed by it) and afterwards I didn't get to see him as he had already gone.

Upon returning home I did a bit of snooping and found his Facebook page which is mostly hidden however there was a photo of him getting married. Shock horror as I had asked him the previous night and he had said no! (Not that that means anything). Now I feel totally deflated. Half of me wants to message and give him what for, the other half says don't bother and move on - it was just a fun weekend - we had a great time and that's it. My main worries are actually I may bump into him again on another one of these weekends and stupidly I feel I was a bit off the next day and should have made the effort to speak to him. He did hover for a little (twice) behind some other actors like he wanted me to talk to him but that could have just been me misreading the situation.

I feel a bit lost and deflated as I said and am not really sure what my 'plan of action' should be.


Re: Advise on weekend 'fling'

PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 12:34 pm
by snail
I wouldn't message him and give him 'what for' - there might be an innocent explanation (maybe they are now separated) and then you would look unreasonable and rather stalkerish. If you want to see him again, then I would message him with a casual open message and see what happens - if he agrees to meet up perhaps you could say that before you get together again (making it more than a one-night thing) you really want to be assured that he's not spoken for.

If you're not that sure about meeting up again, why not leave it and see if he contacts you.

Re: Advise on weekend 'fling'

PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 1:07 pm
by LJ2016
Hi Snail

Thanks for the reply. Would I not look rather stalkerish anyway contacting him now? He took my number and hasn't messaged me so I am taking that as he is either still married or just not that interested... I would love to see him again but if I message him and he doesn't reply or knocks me back it will kind of make the activity weekends super awkward especially when as part of the game you are supposed to talk to the actors to find out what's going on. We plan to go again late summer. He may not even be there but do I just leave it and if I do see him again in the summer perhaps talk to him then. From what I can make out - he appears happily married (there's photos on his page of them together so this is my assumption). I think my biggest worry of the whole weekend is that I didn't want him to think I brushed him off on the Sunday - disappointed I didn't get to see him before we left as that may have made a difference.

Re: Advise on weekend 'fling'

PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 7:06 pm
by David020549
It was a fun weekend and you had your fling, leave it at that. Now you are pretty sure he is married which he lied about its up to you if you want to repeat the episode. Most guys would want to have round two in the sack, so if you meet him again expect him to try so just mention his wife and kids. Then everything is on the open and you can both decide yes or no and enjoy the weekend either way