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Wife friends with ex

PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2016 11:41 am
by jbutty
My wife of 6 months has been friends with her ex for about the last twenty years. They had a two week relationship in their early twenties which ended amicably and they have stayed friends since, they are now in their forties.
Ever since then they have stayed good friends and used to meet up for sex when it suited either of them and now they text each other quite a lot.
The ex boyfriend has been to stay at our house twice before we were married and I actually quite liked him but I feel increasingly uncomfortable either seeing him or when they text each other, I have really tried to get on with him and accept him.
My wife assures me that I can trust her fully and I do. My problem is that I know the first time he stayed in our house he put pressure on my now wife for sex which she told him was not going to happen.
I cannot trust him atall, he goes from one girlfriend to the next and never seems to have serious relationships.
Me and my wife have talked this over and it is causing a big rift between us. I do not want to stop her talking to an old friend but every time they talk I feel very uncomfortable even though she assures me she has no feelings for him. If I say to her to stop talking to him she says she will but then I will feel bad for destroying an old friendship. I cannot seem to find a solution.
Please please help, any suggestions gratefully received.

Re: Wife friends with ex

PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 6:26 am
by Tarantula
It is my opinion that your wife should not even be putting you in this situation, it is totally disrespectful to you/your relationship to keep this guy sniffing around.

She knows how you feel about it. She should put your feelings in front of this guy. Why isn't she?

The length of time they've known each other doesn't mean a thing to me. A bad habit sustained over a long period of time doesn't change its status from a bad habit into a good or worthy use of one's time.

The word 'friendship' covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? They've slept together. That means she will forever be a 'possibility' in his mind, and the fact that he tried it with her even when she's married, and when he was in YOUR house, demonstrates that he does not respect you or your relationship either. Honestly, I don't know why you didn't kick his backside after that, and tell her to stop kidding herself that this is just platonic.

He's just playing the numbers and would be on your wife in a second if the opportunity arose. What do you think? If she decided to put the moves on him one day, what's he gonna do? Push her away going 'nah babes - it'll ruin the FRIENDSHIP'?? No.

You need to eject this toe rag out of your life and marriage and she needs to respect that. What's the matter with her? Is she one of these women who can't feel secure unless she's not only got a stable relationship but at least one guy nearby who's thirsty for her?

Don't feel guilty about expecting her to drop this guy. You shouldn't even need to ask.

Why can no one be loyal? Huff

Re: Wife friends with ex

PostPosted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 2:08 pm
by David020549
A "friend " of the opposite sex is always going to cause trouble in a relationship, you wife needs to realize that and break off all contact with him. I think you should ask her to do just that, it is not a question of trusting her it is her accepting that she is married and should not sow the seeds of doubt.