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Struggleing with a relationship at work

Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2016 5:59 pm
by RB0A
I'll get right to it, a while ago now I started spending a lot of time with a girl at work she is 21, we were getting on really well and then like a bolt from the blue I realized I had developed feelings for this person, before I could express my feelings she became pregnant. I know I know a lot of guys would have run for the hills but about mid pregnancy she split up with the farther and so I took the bull by the horns so to speak and told her how I felt. She told me it was too soon after her breakup and she didn't want to start something yet, ok I said and left it at that. She had the kid end of November 2015 by the end of December 2015 she was with a new bf who she is currently with. I spoke to her in December 2015 telling her that this was to much for my feelings to deal with and that we would only be able to carry on at work as colleges as the friendship we had before was out of the question, her response to this was "I'm fine with that". Come march 2016 I had seen her a few times out and about and so as per my last I had kept my distance, then came a works do in March 2016 ok I think there'll be loads of ppl out I don't have to speak to her how wrong was I, twice in 2 bars she came to me asking why things could not be as they were before indeed she dragged me out on one bar by my shirt collar. I told her both times NO, pointing out my feelings for her made this impossible. She since that had returned to work after her maternity, I was hoping we could get along as just colleges as we had discussed on 3 spate occasions now. The 1st week back she was telling my friends at work that I wasn't speaking to her and that me and her had no chance to witch I replied drama queen, she knows the score. Then she started asking me to do her little jobs such as collect that or call this person up or go to the shops for milk ect on all occasions I was politely refused. when ever I pass her she sticks her bottom lip out and gives me the biggest frown ever but never says anything. I would like to point out she is still with her bf from December 2016 who is due to go away for 6 months he being a soldier so you would expect she would have little time or want to devote attention to a works crush also being a single mum, now I have since she came back only ever tried to be polite and professional towards her while maintaining the set boundaries I have mentioned but it seems that well I'm not sure how to explain it she has issue with this despite our previous conversations. Now is she trying to keep me as a backup plan in case her current bf dose not work out, is she out to just not listening to what I've said and thinks it will all blow over in time or what? How should I proceed? should I stick to my current cores and do nothing or pull her up on it again?

Re: Struggleing with a relationship at work

Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2016 9:34 pm
by snail
Hi Razbo/RBOA

It's best to stick to one thread per problem, so all of the replies and advice are in the same place. Things that people have said before about this girl are still relevant.

Original thread is here

I must say, I did think you had feelings for her, based on the level of interest you had in her problems :wink: