Too scared to call me

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Too scared to call me

Post by Laserstar » Tue Sep 27, 2016 9:48 pm

I see my partner of 9 months every weekend. It's a LDR. He's been living with his sister for the past year and one thing that concerns me is that he doesn't like to phone me when she's in. He says he feels self conscious but I've met her so it seems ridiculous. He phones me late sometimes when he's in bed. Last night I went to bed early and missed his call. To be honest I'm starting to feel irritated by this - tailoring it all round this little foible. I've not been in touch today and neither has he which is odd but I'm loathe to get in touch as I feel he should ring me at a godly hour. Am I being unreasonable?

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Re: Too scared to call me

Post by snail » Wed Sep 28, 2016 8:09 pm

Well actually I can understand the feeling self-conscious thing - I don't like talking to my partner if anyone else is listening and I will avoid it if possible. I just feel stupid and exposed - it's too intimate for anyone else to hear. Having said that, if it was talk with someone listening or not at all, I would put up with it.

The best thing is (as ever) to talk to him, to ask him if he will ring you earlier - does he know it's important to you? What has happened today - have you been in touch and mentioned it?
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: Too scared to call me

Post by Trevaskiss » Fri Sep 30, 2016 9:18 am

I can kind of see it from both sides really.

I’m currently living back with my Dad (8 of us in the house and 4 dogs!!!!), so privacy is a real issue there. I’m not in any kind of relationship at all, but I know that I would find it very very difficult to talk to a partner in the company of others. Are there any others living at his sisters, or is it just them two?

That’s me seeing it from his side …

However, if it’s just him and his sister living there, then surely there must be somewhere for him to have his privacy? Where does he sleep? Does he have his own bedroom? If he does, then surely some time to himself to chat to you shouldn’t be an issue. Even if it’s going for a walk (weather permitting).

You say you see him at weekends? Well, this weekend sit down with him and chat with him and find out what’s going on. I can understand your concerns as my mind would be racing over time.

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