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Trusting my gf

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 8:06 am
by Parousia
I'm a 52 year old man who last year separated from his wife of 28 years. She cheated on me numerous times. I have only had three other sexual relationships, all long term, and each woman cheated on me. I remained faithful to each lady. That said I met a loving, intelligent woman who is 44 who has told me that she has had 37 partners and nearly all of them being one night stands and had sex with them within hours, if not literally minutes of meeting them. However, during her marriage she had several affairs. During one affair at the age of 40, she went out and had unprotected sex with a random stranger behind a pub and then within minutes of leaving him had unprotected sex with another man before going home to her husband. This episode is, for me, less easy to explain. To me, it is a pattern of behaviour that a woman of 40 was behaving in a way that she did as a 20 year old. Despite claiming to have changed from her youth she is exactly the same. I know people make mistakes, but where do mistakes end and behaviour begins? Am I with a woman who has never changed and does what she likes depending on situation?

Re: Trusting my gf

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:31 am
by Tarantula
Is this a serious post?

Re: Trusting my gf

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:26 pm
by Parousia
Yes it is

Re: Trusting my gf

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:52 pm
by Mrconfused74
What exactly do you want us to say? Should you trust her? Based on previous behaviours no! If she's given you no reason to suggest she's cheating then maybe she has changed! One of my ex's told me all her previous relationships were based solely on sex, and we spent many years together. I think your real issue is her past, as it's totally different from yours. The only question you need to ask yourself is, can you stay with someone who cheats on you? Because if she hasn't changed that's exactly what will happen. So you either accept her past and the possibility that she will cheat. Or walk away.

Re: Trusting my gf

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 2:07 pm
by snail
First things first: has your girlfriend been tested for STDs? If not, you need to use condoms, or ideally abstain, until she has. She can go to a walk-in clinic, it needn't take more than a week or ten days from start to finish.

Secondly, has she explained why she behaved like she did for those years and given you assurances that she now no longer feels like that? For a woman to have, for example, unprotected sex with two random male strangers within minutes in an unsafe environment is a form of masochism (self-harm or self-sabotage), rather than anything to do with sexual desire. She clearly had some emotional/psychological issues - has she genuinely sorted these out now, and if so how did she do that?

Thirdly, your relationship history seems rather unlucky. You should consider what you might be doing to attract these types of women, and what you are doing when you decide to remain in these types of relationships.

Re: Trusting my gf

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 7:01 pm
by Celebritydiscodave
Yes, but most people do n`t really change much, they may mellow of course, but this is n`t strictly changing. Those parents that get a kick out of their kids living the life which they once did, either have n`t changed, or in fact have got worse. What one would do if one could tells you as much about that person/that persons character as if they were actually doing it. She is only out for self-gratification. She treats you pretty rotten on most other levels does n`t she? You were better off with the twenty year old.