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Is This Real Love??!

PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 2:05 pm
by lonelyharold_34
Hello there,

I feel I need to contact someone seeking advice. I am worried however that when I begin to explain my predicament I will be instantly labelled naive and stupid, but please read to the end - anything you can say to help me would be greatly appreciated.

A few weeks ago I received an email from a Russian women who said that she was looking for love - I know, I know, the alarm bells are already ringing. But please hear me out.
Her name is Alina. She is beautiful, funny and clever. You may ask why she would suddenly get in touch with me, but I was once quite big in TV, and am quite the name on the badminton scene. I have never felt such a connection with a woman before - and she has never asked for money, but just told me about her life, her hopes and her desires. We have connected.
I want to go and see her, or for her to fly and see me - I suggested I buy her a plane ticket so she can come over - she never asked, it was my suggestion. I fear that as I age I will never meet "the one" and this is my last chance. Am I being naive, or should I follow my dreams and look at flights?



Re: Is This Real Love??!

PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 7:54 pm
by Mrconfused74
You as I see it have two options! You go and see her, spend some time with her an get to know her better. When you get back see if she's still keen, maybe she will offer to pay we own fare to come over. Or you pay for her to come over, and she either offers to pay you back, she stay for a while and then goes home, and you continue chatting. Or she stays and never goes back? You end up paying for her to stay, extra food bills, clothes etc. Once she's here she leaves you???
The only way you will find out if she is the one is to meet her, personally I would go there, see her circumastances, don't offer to pay for everything, like meals etc, and see what happens, if she's adamant she wants to come here, offer to pay half the fare, ask how long and suggest hotels she can stay in. Then if she puts it off you know she's probably playing you.
It does set alarm bells ringing, but it's how you play it that will make it easier on you if she's just after your money and a way into the country.

Re: Is This Real Love??!

PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:30 am
by lonelyharold_34
Hello mrconfused, thank you for your lovely reply!

My main concern is not money - it is, bizarrely, that she is so beautiful! I obviously can't post a picture, but my word, she is a stunner - i wonder why she would be interested in me, and why such a pretty lady could not find love in her hometown, though she says it is full of drunks and crime. I also worry that she does not share my love of badminton (such a noble sport)!
I guess i could invite her over, and pay for things without actually giving her money? If she travelled then it would show real commitment from her. I know she is very caring, and loves her mother dearly. She ticks all the boxes!

Re: Is This Real Love??!

PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 6:43 pm
by snail
You asked if you were being naive or if you should pursue this woman... I'm sorry, but yes, you are being naive. Stunning young women whose sole aim is to find a long-lasting and meaningful relationship don't email random foreigners two thousand miles away, because it's not necessary, and it's not effective. Of course you've connected, and of course she ticks all your boxes - that's what these people do, that's what they're good at.

I doubt you will listen, but apart from the financial issues (the last man on this site in this situation ended up spending over £30,000) bear in mind that every day (or month, or year) you spend pursuing this fantasy woman is another day you are not looking for, and finding, a real relationship.

Re: Is This Real Love??!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 9:10 am
by johnay
Scamming western men is a ruse that is fairly common these days and a random email from any foreign women instantly makes me suspicious. I'm 64 and get them regularly. I read these Skype requests and emails and they make me laugh a lot. If I get talking to someone on a forum then that's rather different as you or they make a connection to chat. But chatting and romance are different aren't they??? Any romance takes time and many meetings in the flesh to get going. You would need to meet this person if there was any chance that this might not be a scam...Then if you really do hit it off with this lady that even you deem to be way out of your league then that's just the start of things.. You can't just bring in a foreign fiancee or wife these days. There are very difficult rules. You need to have a home and an income of 18000 to start with. You have to have proof of all of that and long term proof of your relationship with this lady like photos letters and cards and all dated. I know of someone else who was contacted recently by a Russian woman and its ruining his marriage and financial future because of his naive belief this new woman loves and wants him etc. So many folks think it's so easy to bring a foreign partner into the UK as well. It isn't.... Believe me it's very difficult.
I'm guessing in your heart of hearts you know what's going on here...My alarm bells are ringing big time

Re: Is This Real Love??!

PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 4:26 pm
by Celebritydiscodave
You are being naive. We only tend to here about the internet relationships which work, but quite obviously, the vast majority wont work in the full real world. It`s not worth gambling that kind of money over somebody that you will probably change your mind over during the first weeks of her company. In my opinion it is still very much on the cards that it may just be another scam. Some people are absolute masters of deception, and this is of course one of the main psychopathic traits. She may wish to live with you, I`m 61 yrs, and share my house with three girls, two 19 yrs and one 20 yrs. None of them, as far as I`m presently aware, are looking to have a romantic relationship with me though. Under certain specific circumstances it can work out better to be used by girl than for that girl to have no interaction with you at all. It need not be a desperate circumstance because under these circumstnces you can have as many "girlfriends" as you like.