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Re: Any Advice would be gratefully appreciated

PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2016 10:36 pm
by snail
Oh dear I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you are managing to hold up.

Re: Any Advice would be gratefully appreciated

PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2016 9:17 am
by Oldfaithful
Not really I feel empty, don't have a clue which way to turn

Re: Any Advice would be gratefully appreciated

PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 9:17 am
by snail
At least you found out relatively early that it wasn't right.

You can give yourself a break from relationships while you see your counsellor and discuss all these things.

Re: Any Advice would be gratefully appreciated

PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 2:36 pm
by Oldfaithful

Really At a bit of a loss, Just as i think things are over between me and my Girlfriend I receive a message from her on New Years Eve asking if i'm Ok.

I was completely honest with her and said no i'm not ok, after our discussion over the last few days and assuming things were over I was genuinely disappointed ans upset. In such a short space of time this lady really had made a impression on me.

After exchanging messages over a two day period, we finally met up yesterday of which she asked me to stay over. During the course of the evening it was if nothing had happened over the last few days and everything seemed as they were. I couldn't just leave it to act like nothing had happened, so I asked if we could have a talk about what had happened over the last few days.

After a discussion and me getting things off my chest that I needed answers for peace of mind. She informs me that she as spent that long been such an independent Lady with just her and her Children that she was struggling to adapt and maybe got a little scared. I re-assure her that I would rather her be in my life in some capacity then nothing at all, she should have been open and honest with me if she felt things where developing too quickly. I also asked her if she was ready for a man in her life, she replied by saying that she wanted me in her life an wanted to be in a relationship with me.

Could this have just been a blip, and can this make us stronger?

I feel like I should take a step back, I mean no messaging her, not calling her. Just give her some space. I guess then I will discover if she really does Love me like she says she does and wants us to be together.

I am keen to know everyone opinions/thoughts?

Re: Any Advice would be gratefully appreciated

PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 10:51 pm
by David020549
Women that have a financially stable independant life with kids are often very reluctant to let a serious relationship change that, casual boyfriends probably, long weekends maybe, then back to independance because they are safe in known territory.
I am rather surprised that she seems to be reviving the relationship and your idea of being cool to that is just crazy, go along with it but don't take her for granted. As you recounted you have a different kind of love, you are "head over heels" in love, she sees you as a very good friend but not " in love".
In a previous post you have mentioned "spoiling", are you pressing gifts or cash on her, many women would not like that, ( some would ask for it) in her case it probably makes her feel indebted to you, as she is obviously a caring person who wants to help the homeless, materialism is not at the top of her agenda.
Maybe if you stop pressuring her and let the relationship develope naturally it will last, part of that is to trust her which is where this thread started, you are on a looser if you are unable to do that, women like a man to be strong and predictable not have hang ups.