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Boyfriend put off now that I'm pregnant?

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 9:18 am
by Rarity
Any advice would be appreciated as I got pretty upset about this last night... I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my second child (my boyfriend first child) and I think it has really turned him off sex. Last night is the first night we tried anything since we found out (he hasn't seemed very up for it just lately.) I honestly think he only initiated it because he could tell I was getting frustrated and upset that he doesn't seem to want any. Anyway, as we got started I was using my hands to try get his little man to "stand to order". It didn't seem to be working that well, so I thought I would give him oral, as it's his favourite and always gets him going. Anyway, after about 5mins of sucking on it it was pretty obvious it wasn't getting any harder, and I was just kind of limp and flopping around. I ended up stopping and got quite upset about it. He kept telling me there was nothing wring and it felt nice, but we have never had this problem before... usually he's ready as soon as I put my hand down there. I told him I understand if he feels weird now because of the baby, but he said that's not the problrm and that everything was fine... but I know everything wasn't fine... I spent all night last night crying because if he can't get it up now, what's he going to think in a few months time when I'm big and obviously pregnant?! He's such a great guy, but this has really knocked my confidence and upset me... I can't physically go 9 months without sex or being intimate with him, but I also don't know if I dare anymore because I feel so unattractive to him... He says I'm being silly but I know I'm not... We've been in our new house 2 weeks and had sex once, which isn't like us at all... what can I do to make him want me again? I can't spend the next 9 months thinking I'm not good enough for him

Re: Boyfriend put off now that I'm pregnant?

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:21 am
by David020549
Hi. He has something serious on his mind.

New House, you expecting a baby, are the finances going to add up. How much do you understand about paying the rent or mortgage, all couples push the boat out when moving house and sometimes go over the top, then wages are reduced and it all goes wrong.

My guess is that he is scared of letting you down and you will not be able to afford your dream house, there are lots or other things that might be on his mind but do discretely check that out first

Re: Boyfriend put off now that I'm pregnant?

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 6:23 pm
by Mrconfused74
David is right, he has something on his mind. Moving home is a big step, did you live together before? That and you becoming pregnant with his first child, maybe he also feels there will be a lot of pressure on him to provide when the baby comes along. Are you both working? If so can you put money aside to help cover your loss of earnings, if your not could you find temporary work and put this money away for when you have the baby. All this could well be putting stress on him. And this is a big contributor in losing an erection. As for what you can do? Make sure he has nothing to do when he gets in, perhaps offer to give him a massage, this will help relax him, which is what he needs right now, and maybe this will help. You also need to put less pressure on him to perform, everything doesn't need to end in sex, perhaps ask him to give you oral, or use his hands on you, maybe give you a massage. I'd also suggest a soft core adult film, nothing too graphic, this may at least get him going, then he can concentrate on you. Most men are turned on visually, so before you start get bigger maybe put on some lingerie. But don't flood him with stuff, take it slowly. And at the risk of being crude you can take things into your own hands, on occasion but also remember you are pregnant and need to not stress out too. Hope things work out, and hope the birth goes well.

Re: Boyfriend put off now that I'm pregnant?

PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 8:02 pm
by peecee
Just wondering if this is the boyfriend who had a low sex drive last time you were here, me dear, or a new fella?

If it's the same one, did things get any better over the last year?