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Trying to withstand horrendous pressure

PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:29 am
by gillbee
Hi, I've posted twice about my relationship over the last couple of months - my partner was emotionally abusive and made my life a misery but through guilt because he left his wife for me, I tried to soldier on. Last weekend I finally flipped and told him to go, which he did. I feel so relieved in a way, but he's not very stable mentally and veers between being rational and texting me begging me to come back and blaming me for him losing everything, including his son who hasn't spoken to him since he left (The son's 20). I know it's early days, but I feel permanently sick and upset about it all and I'm terrified of capitulating and allowing him back, in fact last night I almost said I would and it was only the thought of my family all absolutely hating him that stopped me. I know he's not right in the head and I want to be kind, but without giving him any false hope. I know I need to stay strong but it's so hard! I hate hurting people, but I suppose he's hurt me without any compunction in the past. How long should I leave it before I start to distance myself from him and stop answering his texts and messages. He can't help his mental issues but I simply cannot cope with him, though I don't wish him any harm and want him to be happy.

Re: Trying to withstand horrendous pressure

PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:37 pm
by Country Joe
You don't need to wait for another second! The first thing to do is contact your mobile phone supplier and block his calls & messages followed by deleting any social media you may also be in contact with this person! You've done the hardest thing by ending the relationship...and that is the reality! You no longer have any obligation to or responsibility for this person anymore!
All contact must cease and all old texts and messages must be deleted to enable you to move forward!
The next thing you do is pour yourself a big glass of wine and breath a sigh of relief...spring is just around the corner and you have everything to live for and look forward to! Start planning what your going to do and all those days out and places your going to visit and enjoy without that weight of the world on your shoulders and the thorn in your side!
Leave the past behind :)

Re: Trying to withstand horrendous pressure

PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:13 am
by gillbee
Hi Country Joe and thank you for replying. I'm feeling a bit more positive today, as he's been more rational these last 24 hours and seems to accept that it's over - moving into his own flat this weekend.
I will certainly take your advice if the texting continues after another week or so, or if his messages get aggressive or nasty. I'm too soft and feel sorry for people, even when they bring their troubles on themselves. Thanks again, and don't worry I'll be having a very large Bacardi and coke tonight, sitting back and heaving a sigh of relief that I've got my life back and my little house all to myself! Cheers!