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Wife and relationship

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 2:57 am
by brfc
Hi guys been a long time since I've been on here but need somewhere to talk before I blow my tiny lid. Last year me and my wife had a little baby boy previously to that me and wife were going to split up as we weren't working out.

Most of last year she blamed me for our marriage not working and I was on antidepressants due to the stress.

She spent most of it asking me to leave. Well fast forward to 2017 and a miserable new years Eve and I decided enough is enough and that I'm not living under a cloud of will wife stay or go.

She has now moved out with my little one into a hostel and I'm far happier without all the stress but she seems to think my happiness is because I didn't care about her. I did care but she decided to leave and move back near her mum and she's expecting me to sit around moping after her.

We seem happier apart and I need to move on in 2017 and be happy again guess she will have to accept that. I do care about her but to just up and leave gave me no other choice than to move on

Re: Wife and relationship

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 8:34 am
by David020549
As you have been having relationship problems for some time I think it is better that you are separated, you don't mention anger or loss of control but women do not usually move to a hostel unless they fear violence.
Your footnote "Blue and white army" may be a hint, are you a keen football fan, are you out late with mates every opportunity, do you drink too much. If you are a fan most wives would be happy enough with couple of beers then home soon after, a lot more than that will not please them.

Re: Wife and relationship

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 9:17 am
by brfc
Hi no far from it my wife told the council I'd thrown her out to get a place in a hostel. I,d never throw them out or hit anyone. It was a ploy to get back near her mum which has now worked. She told them I was emotionally abusing her but I think I was the one emotionally abused. I gave our relationship my all while she kept throwing it back in my face. The only trouble I have is I'm too nice and let people walk all over me and use me. Had enough of doing that now. She's done all of this and wants me back now. Just don't know if it's the right thing to do.

Re: Wife and relationship

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 9:52 am
by brfc
Doing some research it seems that not many people believe men can be emotionally abused and there's no support groups for them. Shocking really.

Re: Wife and relationship

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 10:35 am
by Mrconfused74
I guess my first question would be, if you and your wife were having problems why on earth did you have a baby?
Now I'm not foolish enough to know that these things can happen by accident, but surely every precaution possible should've been taken. Now you have a baby amongst all this that wasn't living in a loving home. I'm sorry if these seems harsh but did you believe that having a kid was the answer? Did your wife push you into it? I understand that men can be emotionally abused, but if you've been having problems a while they should've been dealt with in one way or another before contemplating starting a family.

Re: Wife and relationship

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 1:54 pm
by David020549
Women abusing men is fairly common but we obviously don't shout about it. Two reasons why she had a baby, firstly, to get more leverage on you, secondly, a single woman with a child will be high on the housing list, and the benefits gravy train, without a child she would be told " get a job and pay rent".

It sound like you are well rid of her, and don't let her back, so keep in touch with your son and move on, there are plenty of girls looking for a nice caring guy