Boyfriend with trust and anger problems

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Boyfriend with trust and anger problems

Post by meljenks » Thu May 18, 2017 12:13 pm

Hi All

Just after some advice on how to deal with my boyfriend and really what would you do kinda thing.

We've been together 17 month and the 1st 9 months he was chatting and flirting and sending explicit pics to many many woman, i caught him out and he apologies blah blah.

Stupidly i decided to give him a second change as he never physically cheated. Anyway NOW hes keep accusing me of cheating, hew thinks im chatting to men on FB and all dating sites. Im 100000% not, i love the guy so much and could never hurt him but he doesnt believe me.

He as the passwords to my facebook and email and finds nothing but then just says i could easily delete them.

If a man that i know tried adding me on FB he blocks them.

When he gets angry he calls me names like slag, witch, c==t, he think im selfish and f=cked up in the head.

He says he gets angry and then looses it amd then cant control what he says.

He has never hit me but his anger does scare me a little.

How can i handle the situation? Im ignoring him at the moment because i cant take more arguing and shouting etc and im in work.

what can i do, i love him when he'a calm :(

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Re: Boyfriend with trust and anger problems

Post by David020549 » Fri May 19, 2017 8:39 am

I don't see any future in you staying together he is paranoid, it will end in control and probably violence, the more you try to appease him the worse it will get. So leave soon.

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Permanent Fixture
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Re: Boyfriend with trust and anger problems

Post by Tarantula » Sat May 20, 2017 1:18 pm

Yes, leave.

I was crazy about a jealous man once. It seemed the harder I tried to 'prove myself', prove my trustworthiness, the more he would just accuse. We were on and off all the time, until eventually he went abroad for six months after one of our breakups, and that's what helped me to finally get out of the cycle. By the time he came back and tried to shuffle back into my life (they will always try, which makes staying away even harder if you're having second thoughts and have strong feelings), I had met someone else and that was that. Thankfully!!!

I think, for them, they carry on accusing because by now they NEED us to have done something, to justify the way they've treated us. The more time goes by without them being able to prove we've done something, the angrier they will get - at themselves, and at us. And if we dare to even TALK to another guy, a male friend for example, and they find out - then suddenly they will be proved 'right' all along and they will feel justified.

You simply cannot win. And it is not going to get better.

And by the way, he's probably cheating on you actually. He showed you what kinda man he was already, and you didn't wanna pay attention because it was hard to accept, but you must pay attention now. You cannot change him. He has to make that decision for himself, and it looks like he isn't going to.

You will regret the time you wasted with him.

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