I like him, he likes me. But won’t go in a relationship.

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I like him, he likes me. But won’t go in a relationship.

Postby Keavie2000 » Tue Oct 24, 2017 3:52 pm

Hi,
I’ve liked this guy for some time now and he and me have been really close. And we are doing things that a normal couple would do if they were dating e.g cuddling and such. I confessed to him yesterday (23rd October 2017) and got the response of “I like you too but I can’t do relationships” I’ve known what happened with him and his last relationship and it messed him up quite a bit but that was a while ago (2 years ago).

I’ve asked most friends and they all give me different opinions on what to do. Sometimes I want to be blunt and say “yeah I know but if you don’t try how do you know if it’s going to work” but on the other hand I don’t want to say anything in case it ruins what we already have. I’ve known him since March and we’ve always been close. So I just don’t know what to do.

Thanks
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Re: I like him, he likes me. But won’t go in a relationship.

Postby Tarantula » Tue Oct 24, 2017 10:30 pm

When you say 'things that couples do'... are you sleeping with him?

If so then it's probably the case that he's getting the fringe benefits of a relationship whilst keeping his options open - great deal for him, not so much for you if you want more.

If you're not sleeping with him, then I still think it's time to draw a line here. If he liked you as much as you like him, he wouldn't hesitate. He wouldn't want another guy coming along and taking you away, he'd want to name it.

Don't settle for a weird sort of non-relationship where you'll never know where you stand.

At this rate, next week he might actually get a girlfriend, and when you get upset, he'll say 'oh but I never said we were together.'

Nah. No settling allowed! Tell him that, since he's not wanting to enter a relationship (which is okay! He doesn't have to), then you're not comfortable carrying on whatever this thing is with him, as you want something clear and fair for both people. But you're happy to stay friends.

That should be a wakeup call for him, if he does have romantic feelings for you, he will take the plunge. If not, well, then you know, and you're no longer wasting your energy on something that will only disappoint you in the end.
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