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Am I a weekend hobby?

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:02 pm
by Laserstar
I am in a long distance relationship with a retired man who lives 50 miles away. He lives with his widowed sister. When I met him, he was talking about the arrangement being temporary so that he could help her son (who lives with his girlfriend) to set up a business. 2 years later he is still there. he works with her son (his nephew)almost daily but he tells me that he isn't being paid. he doesn't pay the sister keep, but he buys shopping now and then. I see him at weekends he comes over on the train because he has no car. he does have a house in another part of the country which he bought when he got divorced. this house is near his daughter but he hasn't lived there in all the time I have known him I think because he never really put roots down in that area. He doesn't pay me any keep but similarly he buys shopping occasionally. Generally I find it difficult to get him to pay for things like tickets and holidays without mentioning it a few times. Looking at the bigger picture he seems to have alleviated himself of any responsibility in life having cherry picked bits out of both houses.he never buys me gifts apart from his sister's cast off charity shop stuff and I had to hassle for a birthday present. I feel a bit like Princess Diana in the Charles-Camilla-Diana triangle here. Am I deluding myself thinking that I'll ever be anything but a weekend hobby?

Re: Am I a weekend hobby?

Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 11:32 am
by stephie2
Tell him how you feel.

If you are to ever move on with your relationship you do not want to be paying for everything. As for presents for birthdays etc then that should be standard and I wouldn't hassle. If I didn't get anything then I would just bring it up and explain that if the roles were reversed how would he feel?

It sounds to me that this man is happily sponging off people and unless you tell him that you are not going to be taken for a ride then it will never work.