by Mrconfused74 » Fri Dec 08, 2017 4:23 pm
A friend of mine has been having problems in her marriage for about a year now, initially she wouldn’t open up but over time she has. She says she loves him as the father of her children but that’s it. He seems very reluctant to help around the house, although will do some bits. Leaving her to do the majority of jobs, cleaning cooking looking after the kids etc. As well as Work! He does put her down quite a lot, and seems very disinterested in her life, and always wanting to do his own thing. Yet if she asks for help, he says she’s moaning. She’s admitted it’s a sexless marriage although if they do she says she feels violated after. I told her to tell him how she feels, and he’s just passed it off as more moaning, and when she said maybe she should leave he’s done nothing to suggest he wants her to stay. He even said they feel like they drifted apart and she agreed. They do seem to row a lot even in front of the kids, and he always shouts her down, as if to exert his dominance on her as he knows she will back down. I’ve told her to get advice but the only person she’s spoken too is me. I told her he’s bullying her, and making her feel like no one else will want her, she says she has to try for the sake of the kids, when it seems to me all she does is bend to his wishes and change to suit him, and he does nothing in return. I know you can’t tell someone they should leave, or that there marriage is in trouble, she’s very proud and doesn’t want people to think she’s failed. You have to make your own choices in life, I just see that she is unhappy, always tired and run down from the whole thing. On the outside he’s the loving caring husband and father but behind doors it’s a different story. I guess I’m tying to get any opinions as if she won’t talk to anyone at least I can go back to her with something.