GF Texting EX?

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GF Texting EX?

Postby HD1996 » Wed Mar 07, 2018 9:13 pm

Hi everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this.

Me and my girlfriend have been together about a year now, we connect with eachother like I've never witnessed before and it's the most wonderful relationship I've ever had.

Recently she has been off, very strange and unusual (but can't exactly pinpoint why or how)

So the other day we were eating and we were on a random topic and she randomly says to me "Oh yeah, I'm speaking to my ex T (makes it easier than his name). I'm like right okay, nothing to worry about there and the conversation of T continues which she tells me they broke up because SHE cheated on him, he has also just came out of a pretty serious relationship. So, a few minutes later I ask her "can I have a look at the conversations because I don't trust him?" She hands me her phone and I go check her texts, nothing there so I ask her where they are. "They're on Snapchat, don't be mad but I've also got a streak going with him." Now, she claims they've been speaking for a week but Snapchat streaks claims 24 days, I'm not no mathmetician... The fact she doesn't keep a streak with me because she doesn't have time in her busy work schedule now has me confused since there's no writing in the Snapchat conversation, only images which ofcourse I can't see.

I told her to take a picture of me with the caption "My boyfriend knows" and T opened it and hadn't replied.

This may not sound that bad, but I need some advice.

-Am I overreacting and there's nothing to worry about?
-It took her months to gain my trust (due to always being cheated on and anxiety) now it's gone.
-She lied about the time they'd been messaging.
-She managed to keep it secret for almost a month.

I know I'm a bad boyfriend for wanting to see the conversation, and I do feel bad trust me. I'd rather her ask or tell me beforehand so I can adjust rather than getting it one big heap.

This is a very serious relationship for me, I'd bend over backwards for her but now I'm questioning it. I devoted my life to us and adapted accordingly. I'm not the best boyfriend but honestly I don't text my ex's because I have no reason to, plus I know that SHE wouldn't like it.

What should I do? Those Snapchat messages I have no idea what's on them. Plus SHE cheated on him which is why they broke up... Very serious red flags popping here.

Thanks for reading and thanks for future replies; I know this is alot to read but I'm trying to get all details in. If there's any more information you need before giving advice feel free to ask.

Thanks everyone.
P.S. I could always go intimidate (I mean talk) to him, I'm an intimidating lad and I know where he works.
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Re: GF Texting EX?

Postby David020549 » Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:23 am

Don't get involved in meeting the ex boyfriend, it is up to your girlfriend to decide who she wants to have a relationship with and not play games. You said she was "off", enough for you to notice so it wasn't casual, she was thinking about him a lot. Eventually she will learn about loyalty.
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Re: GF Texting EX?

Postby stephie2 » Thu Mar 08, 2018 10:41 am

Firstly why is she texting the ex? Have you spoke to her about why there is contact? Have you explained to her that this is making you uncomfortable? I know I would not be happy if my ex was texting an ex that he had no kids/ties with. Would she like it if the boot was on the other foot and you were doing this?

I think what you have to do is sit down and be open and honest about how you feel about this and make it known how this is really making you feel.
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Re: GF Texting EX?

Postby Tarantula » Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:22 pm

Hey, don't blame T. This is about your gf. She's the one who's breaking your trust.

You're not a bad bf for wanting to see the conversation!! That's perfectly reasonable!!! If there's nothing dodgy going on, then she should be okay to show you everything.

But of course, you already know there's something dodgy going on. It's pretty clear innit.

Your attitude of 'I'm bad for wanting to know' and 'devoting' yourself to her - all that is probably part of why girls cheat on you. Sorry, harsh, I know, but relevant and necessary for you to think on. Value yourself higher.

Don't go all macho on him when you're too scared to confront your gf. That's just a scapegoat.

Tell her you got to see those messages like now, and if she complains, then it's time to call it a day. Sending dodgy messages to an ex is a definite no-go.

And if she's cheated before, then... it tells you some important information about how respectful she is.
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