Sorting out my ex

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Sorting out my ex

Postby I_need_Sugar » Wed Aug 08, 2018 6:13 pm

Hi all.

I wanted to ask for some advice and help with my ex boyfriend.

I was with my ex boyfriend around 6 years ago and we split up due to the relationship not working. In the past 6 years we have become really good mates and often spoke a daily basis in a 121 what’s app group. However back in February after a night out we slept together, he has a gf which he lives with. After we had sex I didn’t hear from him about a month all texts and what’s app messesges stop, I found this really difficult as I’m so use to having him in my life.

Since feb our relationship feels like it’s changed a lot, all private what’s app messages have stopped, he only talks to me now in a group chat with other friend. Even though he messages a lot it’s only this group chat. I’ve tired private messaging him and even though he replies to me it’s usually a day after I’ve sent the message and it’s quite blank and off ish.
I’ve tired to arrange a night out with him but he only come if our other mate comes with us.

I don’t really understand what’s going on and why he’s behaving like this, yes we slept together but it’s done and dusted in my eyes.

Thanks for helping in advance
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Re: Sorting out my ex

Postby Tarantula » Thu Aug 09, 2018 9:31 am

It's pretty obvious. He doesn't want you telling his gf what he did. He wants to pretend it never happened because he regrets it and probably feels a bit ashamed.

Did you feel a sense of superiority over his gf when you slept together? Do you feel that he's still 'your property' because you were with him first? Better to be honest with yourself at least, in the privacy of your own mind, if not on here.

You've been hung up on him this whole time - six years of playing the 'we're friends now' game. It is a game, because if you were genuinely just friends, you would not have slept together. So don't lie. You're still hung up on him.

I think it's time for you to move on.
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Re: Sorting out my ex

Postby boulding » Thu Aug 09, 2018 7:28 pm

There is an attraction between you and this man and possibly he had feelings for you in the past but he has a girlfriend that he lives with and clearly this is what he wants now not buying into some silly "best mates" scenario which is disloyal to his girlfriend and unsettling for you.

Of course its difficult for you if he has been a part of your daily life for six years but the time has come to let go, cut all ties and find a man who cares for you as a girlfriend not a casual sex partner or just a chat on a computer. You need more out of life than this.
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Re: Sorting out my ex

Postby reckoner » Thu Aug 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Hi I_need_Sugar,

You posted a problem before with matching details. It helps PPers to give advice if you stick to one thread for your problem so here's the link:

http://problempages.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=25440&p=213690#p213690

Has there been a particular change or development to the situation since then?
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Re: Sorting out my ex

Postby Tarantula » Fri Aug 10, 2018 7:08 am

It's nice to know that my input remains consistent..!
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