Need other peoples thoughts please

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PH697643
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Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2019 9:57 pm
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Need other peoples thoughts please

Post by PH697643 »

I have been seeing my girlfriend now for just over 2 years, she has children from a previous relationship and we dont live together and are not engaged. Anyway i feel i am being walked over by a user / taker and the reasons are as follows;

she never buys a drink when we go out or offers to
i always end up paying for the kids and us when we go out
i have paid for her holidays with the girls
i have paid for our holidays including spending money, she never brings any.
i bought her a present to help her out that cost a lot, but she never said thank you or offered any money towards it, even though i found out she has more money than me in the bank, that she didn't disclose
she moans about staying in and has never offered to take me out, when i was in between jobs
yes she works
i am by no means rich and i have sacrificed my own pleasures for the above

thoughts please guys
snail
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Re: Need other peoples thoughts please

Post by snail »

That does sound rather one-sided. Sometimes it can simply be that people make assumptions or get into habits though, and just don't think about it. Have you tried asking her to pay for things? It can be awkward but you could just say in a matter-of-fact way and as though it were a foregone conclusion, as you move towards the till/ticket office etc, "Are you going to get these?" If she gets annoyed at having to pay, then I think you have got your answer...
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

Najwa Zebian
19ironside12
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Re: Need other peoples thoughts please

Post by 19ironside12 »

Seems like to me you have 'nice guy' syndrome. First of all you are being taken advantage of , typical nice guy. Stop paying for her all the time and her kids too. You have to walk away from this relationship to show her you will not be taken advantage of. Believe me there's nothing more powerful than walking away , I know because I've done it and it works so that's what you need to do too. Do not contact her. Wait for her to contact you and if she doesn't you know that you were just being used. Walking away will make her realise she can no longer take you for granted.
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