Older woman at work, dream job I don’t want to mess up

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Jw1357
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Older woman at work, dream job I don’t want to mess up

Post by Jw1357 »

Iv met a woman at work who is married and has kids, I don’t want to be too specific just in case! but they are all over 16. She is in her 40s and I am 27.

I have recently moved cities to a job and she’s really looked after me. I aren’t arrogant but am a good looking lad and get a lot of attention from women at work. I am always really smartly dressed and make an effort at work and she always makes little comments about my clothes, hair etc.

She is probably the person I am closest to at work and she makes me feel very safe and happy. I have really impressed her with my ability at work and she is very complimentary about me, both to my face and to others.

We work in an office of six people but she often takes me off for little chats to a quiet room if she thinks I’m worried about anything and always asks me if I’m feeling ok. This is because I ask to speak to her alone though so it isn’t like an excuse on her part for it to be Just us.

Sometimes little things make me wonder though , like the other day I was worried about a situation at work, I wrote her a note saying can I talk to you. I know I left the note on my desk but it was gone the next day, even though all my other bits of paper were still there. I’m so sure she kept it.
I never usually analyse this sort of thing but Iv really got it bad for her.

I’d rather be totally honest , women my age don’t always do that much for me. I have some fantasies about mum figures and love been spanked. I think that’s part of it with her because she’s got that maternal authority thing about her. She’s like the nicest , kindest person you could meet but I love the dynamics between us and how I always want to please her. I really respect her and if I had upset her I’d feel so bad.

Sometimes she talks about the most boring subjects but because it’s her I’m fascinated listening to her. At the weekend I come back home and I physically feel like I’m missing her, it’s as if I need her company. I sit next to her at work and when she’s sat by me and we are close I just feel better.

I can talk to her so openly , if I’m feeling a bit all over the place she automatically knows. Sometimes I feel like I could just tell her everything and it would go no further. I have the most amazing job and life at the moment that Iv really had to earn but I’m scared of losing it, I also can’t cope with how she makes me feel though either.

Help 😩😂
reckoner
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Re: Older woman at work, dream job I don’t want to mess up

Post by reckoner »

Work crushes can be really intense. My theory is that people at work see your 'business' side, which partners at home don't usually see, and when things become more personal, with all that time together away from the humdrum tedium of life at home, it's easy for crushes to become pretty powerful. In fact, my work crush and I now have two children together! But in my case, we worked in different departments and we were both young, free and single, so there wasn't too much at stake if things went wrong.

You're not in that situation. You're in a small office with only a few colleagues with her playing a manager / supervisor / mentor-type role to you. If things go wrong (you've misjudged it / read too much into it / she reciprocates and the relationship goes wrong / her family breaks up etc.), there's nowhere to hide. You'll have, at best, made things extremely awkward and, at worst, severely damaged your work situation, in addition to creating personal crises. Which I'm sure you're already aware of.
Jw1357 wrote: Sun Mar 21, 2021 12:58 pm I have the most amazing job and life at the moment that Iv really had to earn but I’m scared of losing it, I also can’t cope with how she makes me feel though either.
I think the way you can get a grip on the situation is to see that she is not making you feel this way - you are indulging in a fantasy. You're letting this 'older woman attraction' thing take over and undermine your professionalism. Instead of allowing yourself to get carried away in this little-boy-needing-maternal-authority role, be the grown-up professional that you actually are, that won't indulge in such immaturity. You've already proved your ability at your job, now you need to step up and show how professional you really are by treating this crush as the silly indulgence that it really is.

It sounds like you're in a great work situation. That's precious, particularly in times like these. Don't mess it up.
Kcor
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Re: Older woman at work, dream job I don’t want to mess up

Post by Kcor »

Haha, gosh! Lucky you! This post really made me smile and also made me feel ancient (I'm 40).
The thing with being 27 is you want to stir things up. Believe me, at 40 you enjoy them as they are! This advice will be hard or impossible for you to take but... Just enjoy the immense privilege of working in a great environment with someone you fancy to spice things up. What a wonderful day to day life you have right now, why change it? Believe me, if either of you take action it will go pear shaped. There are loads of gals out there who have a maternal streak and could even have compatible kinks in the bedroom. Be wise! Enjoy your mentor for what she is and just have fun. Xxxx
Sapienstudies
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Re: Older woman at work, dream job I don’t want to mess up

Post by Sapienstudies »

What about just talking with her like you did with us?
MrBlueyes
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Re: Older woman at work, dream job I don’t want to mess up

Post by MrBlueyes »

I have had the same but in my case she was much younger than me, it’s funny how In a working environment we see things differently what could clearly just be someone making you feel welcome and helping you can come across as something more. In my case I know there’s absolutely no point in thinking it’s anything more than fantasy and as was said that can help get you through the day. But In your case she is married has kids and is your boss, and in these cases there is only one way it will end. If you really like this job then that’s where your focus should be, everyone enjoys a flirt or banter but you have to assume that’s all it is. I understand that you don’t get the same feeling from girls of your age so perhaps you need to find places where someone older might be, ( bit hard at the moment) but I’m sure it’ll be possible soon.
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