I really need some help...(long)

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I really need some help...(long)

Postby Liquidius » Sun Jul 03, 2005 8:17 am

I know i've been rambling about this for 2 months now, but I'm still so lost and confused.

I just don't understand, my ex split with me and wants to be friends with me. He still wants me in his life. Why? Every time I've split with someone, I've wanted them as far away as possible, at least for 6 months.

He said when we split, he wanted to be friends, best friends. He brought his best friend to the party last night, and what they have is so much more than what me and he have now. And that hurts me so much. It also doesnt help that his best friend happens to be female. I just sit there trying to run through my head what I did wrong, but I don't know. I never got a reason, and that's hard. I don't even have a starting point in which to work from. I don't understand what he suddenly didnt love about me anymore, one moment he wanted to stay with me, and the next day he never wanted to be with me again. I don't understand what I don't have that his best friend does, and why he invites me out places. At the moment, I don't feel any closer to him than any of my friends, and he doesn't invite them out anywhere. He always invites me, although we both now have separate circles of friends. One thing to note though is he'll never go anywhere with just me. It has to be with someone else. I'm so confused.

Surely if he never wanted to be with me again, he wouldnt want to spend any time near me, not for a while yet? I can't help but think he's trying to get the best of both worlds here, he just wants me around. What for though, I'm not sure. He's changed so much toward me, and every time I see him I miss what we had so much. It hurts that I can't ever have that back, but at least I can tell myself its never going to happen.

I feel the best thing for me is to just sever contact, and just stay away. However, I just can't bring myself to do it. It'll hurt me so much. I need to know why he's so intent on being friends first, and I need the answers to so many questions before I can let this go properly and move on. The only problem is, he won't answer these questions. He won't answer anything about why he split with me. He won't even talk about it. I don't want to force him to. It just seems to have created a massive wall between us.

I just don't know if I can handle the transition between boyfriend/girlfriend and friends. He seems so different. He said he'd always be there for me, no matter what, and it all seems to have changed over night. The one person I thought was going to stick around isn't, but sorta is. More to the point, I don't know what he's doing. He's trying to be close friends with me by asking me out places, but he doesn't treat me like it at all. I get questioned every time my love life gets brought up, and every time I mention any guys name.

I just can't help but wonder if its going to be a complete waste of a friendship just to not be friends with him. I can't help but think I'm going to regret it in the future, but I don't know if I can deal with it now. I just don't know what to do at all.

If you were in my situation, what do you think you'd do? Please help.
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Liquidius
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