Long distance relationships

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V23
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Long distance relationships

Post by V23 » Fri Oct 28, 2005 9:49 pm

I'm now in a long distance relationship with bf. After almost 4years of seeing each other everyday we now get to see each other about once every three weeks.
This has been fine so far, I've missed him terribly but we speak about 4times everyday. We were supposed to be meeting up next weekend but something has come up and it's now going to be three weeks until we can meet up :cry: I am really upset by this, how do other people cope with being away from their bf/gf?
It's not going to be until after the new year (probably feb/march) before we move in together so it's going to be like this until then.
I just really really hate this. I've never been in a long distance relationship before and I'm just feeling really paranoid (I know he wouldn't cheat on me but it's just hard).
How do you keep that 'closeness' when you're apart?

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captainf
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Post by captainf » Fri Oct 28, 2005 9:56 pm

Well I think you should try to call eachother as much as possible, text...etc Also try talking online and also send eachother e-mails.

Its usually a good idea to say what you feel in an e-mail, you know things like how much you miss eachother...etc and how you think about your partner all the time and imagine being in their arms...etc That sort of thing is so so sentimental and melts the heart.

Just look forward to the next time you see eachother. Think things like 'another day closer to seeing my partner'

Just hang in there and work hard at it.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?

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Post by jimmy » Fri Oct 28, 2005 10:05 pm

were not in a long distance relationship but due to circumstances with other parties aka parents we see each other around every 3-4 weeks. Its hard and or only communication is MSN, and sometimes the phone. i spent 1 and a half days with her and friends and just came back, we get no provate time because of of situation, if we do its very limited, and we've been togetheralmost 2 years.

Its really hard, even now i have a lump in my throut. Best thing is to keep up the communication, dont be stubborn and wait for him to contact first, and dont hide anything, say how you feel.

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Post by luvva » Sat Oct 29, 2005 12:41 am

I think you just have to concentrate on the next time you are going to see them and how great it's going to be. I know you miss him a lot, but you must feel great when you see each other again!

This time apart does give you some time to think about everything as well, sometimes seeing someone everyday is a bit much, so I'm sure this time apart will only make you stronger and better in the end!

Feb/March does sound like it's a long time away, but it'll come around quickly :)

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Post by silver tree » Sat Oct 29, 2005 8:04 am

Hey V23. Long distance relationships are sooo difficult but it's will power and a vision of the future (you guys are lucky to have definite plans and 3 months is not so long!) that keep you going I think. While it's important to tell each other that you miss each other and love each other I think it's also important to keep busy so you have lots of interesting and funny stories to tell each other. I know my hardest times in a long distance relationship were when I was lonely in the life where I was.

You'll be fine!

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Post by loopylou » Sat Oct 29, 2005 1:36 pm

Long distance relationships are very very difficult talking from personal experience ive had two long distance relationships one lasted about 2year s the other a year and half but they didnt break down due to the distance it was other factors.
But i think most long distance relationships can work aslong as both people are willing to work at it and put the effort it.
Youve both got to realise that somedays will be harder for one than the other, like somedays you might find it really really hard and might want to be talking to him all day but he might be okay but then another day it might be the other way around but aslong as yous are both willing to be there for each other and stand by each other then i think yous will be fine.
Like the others have said you just have to look forward into the future, its awful when you have been looking forward to seeing somebody and then something comes up so its cancelled but now look forward to when you will see him, try and come up with some good special plans where yous can have fun or something that yous like doing, this will take up some of your thinking time and it will give you something to look forward to.

Like youve said its only till february so atleast you know that it wont be long distance for the forseeable future which is good because youve got something to aim for and i think that will make things easier.

when you get down, write him an email, even write him a letter, listen to some of your fave music or have a nice relaxing bath and think about when you will see him, or ring him up if possible just to tell him you love him or that you miss him or leave him a voice mail just saying hi. just the little things will help.
Dont forget to keep smiling :)

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Post by mickyjoe » Mon Oct 31, 2005 10:14 am

I'm glad you've brought this topic up. I was just thinking about asking the same question. I know I've had my ups and downs with my b/f - I'm trying to get through them. Sometimes you do feel a bit down, but when you hear his voice over the phone it gets better. I'm trying keep busy by going out a little more with friends and by myself. I'll be seeing him in about three weeks to go to a wedding reception then after that I'll be counting the weeks down for when he comes home at christmas. I've also planned a weekend away which has kept me going and in contact with him keeping him informed of it - but this won't be until a week before christmas. We do speak to each other everyday - lately twice or even three times.
Loopyloo I love your xmas calendar. :)

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Post by danielle » Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:30 pm

hi babe as you might know from my post im having a long distance relationship at the moment with my boyfriend and have done since august when we met .
the best avice i can give you is be honest on the phone talk to him about all your feelings but most of all be "close" even over the phone it helps alot.
just try not to look on the bad side of things. just be positive and make sure every conversation is left on a good note because i tell you now its horrible going to sleep knowing you are mad at each other. if you have an arguement try to sort it out before the end of the call.

good luck babe
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Post by Seaside Belle » Wed Nov 02, 2005 11:22 am

Probably the most annoying thing I could stay is that you're on the home stretch now and you will be moving in together soon! But that's miles away and its all the worse for knowing this is a temporary situation! However, don't forget xmas is coming soon and there will be a good few days you can spend together there!

It is awful when you are in a LDR (and I am too!) and something goes wrong and you can't see your bf for a few weeks - you realise how much you've been looking forward to it! Its gutting but you have to get over it. As someone else has mentioned you rely on your partner more when you are lonely - if you have other interests you don't feel alone so much. My bf is like this and is often out 3/4 times a week visiting friends because he misses me. This can sometimes cause problems when I ring him to call as I feel like I don't have his full attention. But we remedy this by sorting out times and days when we are 'alone' on the phone.

Other things he does for me to keep the closeness is to ring me in the morning (I find it very hard to get up) so I have a nice voice to tell me to get up - he often stays on the phone until I've made a cup of tea. He says this is what he'd do if we lived together (get me a cup of tea, talk to me until I woke up) and it makes me feel really special and he says he thinks I look really cute and sleepy in a morning! I always text him to say goodnight - he says he loves to think that he is the last person I think about before I go to sleep. Its stuff like that (stuff that you would do if you were there!) that makes the difference when you are apart. I send him letters in the post telling him how I miss his arms around me (and then spin in a sexy story!) rather then tell him face to face - I would rather our chats are about us rather then how we are missing each other as it tends to upset (although can be very comforting to hear how they miss you to).

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Post by danielle » Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:14 pm

=D> =D>
seaside belle i couldnt of said it better myself.
im having a long distance relationship to at the moment and every think you said is so true.
i also love hearing my boyfriends voice we always talk before we go to sleep and then we always text each other to say good morning.

hey girls at least we all now know that we ent on our own. *rolleyesheart*
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V23
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Post by V23 » Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:36 pm

Thank you so much to everyone

*It's so true about hearing his voice first thing or before sleep :D *

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