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Move with him or Stay?!

PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 4:30 pm
by Clairebabebear
I have a BF. I've konwn him since i was at shcool but he had to move to america with his family and i hadn't seen him untill a year ago. When he came back to england i met him in a Pub were i go with my girlfriends, i saw him, and we started to catch up on what we had been doing.
I have a 6yr old son which he didn't know about utill he found out when my son ansewd the door to him. I've now started a relationship with him now and we are very close my son loves him and i love him but he asked me about a week ago if i would go back to america to live with him.
I don't want to leave england but i love him and i can't cope with out his souport for my son what should i do?!

PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2003 1:35 pm
by tammybligh
I've always been a strong believer in 'follow your heart'. You normally get a gut feeling with this type of thing. If you really love this man, you'll want to be with him, regardless of where he lives.
Have you tried suggesting to him that he moves back to England? It would mean less uprooting for your little boy.

This may not be the greatest advice. But with this sort of situation, you really do have to give 100% whatever choice you make.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2003 2:24 pm
by Bubble
Im quite in agreement with tammy on this one.
Have you discussed all other options with your boyfriend, other than you moving there? And when he asked you to move there, did the invite include your son too?
I suggest you think very carefully before you make any decisions huni, cos it could affect the rest of your life. Whether you move there to be with him, or you stay here.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2003 8:13 pm
by Clairebabebear
But im scared that if i don't go with him i might lose him and i really love him. maybe i could ask him if we could stay in england?
But that means that if we do move my son will have to move schools and leave his mates here and i'll have to leave my Job that i love !

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2003 1:52 pm
by tammybligh
I don't think that you would lose him by not moving.

Have you asked him about staying here with you? I'm only asking because it could be that you're worrying about all this unnecessarily... I'm sure he wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him.
If I were you, I'd speak to him sooner rather than later, just to put your mind at rest one way or the other... all this worry can't be doing you any good.

A very sensible person once said to me "Love knows no distance...." If this is all meant to be, then you'll both find a way to get through this without either of you losing too much.

You mentioned about your son having to leave all of his friends if you move. To be honest, at his age it shouldn't have too much effect on him. I spent most of my childhood moving from place to place (my dad was in the forces). It hasn't scarred me for life, I always managed to make new friends - you forget how resillient kids are.

This is a tough situation, but I'm sure it'll all work out in the end :)

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2003 10:47 am
by Clairebabebear
Right i talked to him and he went of in a right big huff. (but thats probaly coz he's just lost his Nanna) So he went for a walk and when he came back he had bought me some of my fave floweres and sad sorry we kissed and made up. But that night i really wanted to talk to him but was scared that he might blow his top of again, so i snuggeled up to him in bed and told him about me not wanting to go to America and we started talking for a good hour and the he did the most sweetest thing.
He put his arms around me and held me and said "Trish if u don't want to go to America then i will respect that and if u want to stay here coz this is were u were brought up and ur mum and dad are berried here then i won't force u to go. And i won't go coz I LOVE you and i always want to be with u and never want to be separated from u!" so thats it were staying in england and i'm so HAPPY

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2003 5:49 pm
by Bubble
I am so pleased for you hun. Wish i had a man like that. Best of luck with everything. x