boyfriend used to sexually abuse his sis

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boyfriend used to sexually abuse his sis

Postby bitch » Sun Feb 23, 2003 12:11 pm

im 15 and have been going out with a boy for 4 months ( hes 1 year younger then me) and i love him to pieces.
recently i was talking to his sister and she told me that approximently 3 years ago he sexual abused her, but shes the same age as me! she has forgiven him and they still live together and she told me that he would't even think about doing it to me because he likes me to much. i cant dump him because i like him to much but im really confused about why he did it and would he do it again and why she forgave him. i'v spoke to other people and they said i should give him another chance considering it happened a while ago, but i cant forget it. someone please help!!
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Postby tourguide_barbie » Sun Feb 23, 2003 1:13 pm

I think the best thing to do is talk to him about. You may be a bit worried about talking to him about the subject but you don't want to be in a relationship with this guy and always wondering why, and maybe even worried about your own safety. Talk to him about it. I think thats the only way. He would have been 11 at the time so it might have been curiousity. I'm not saying that excuses it but you really do need to hear his side of the story

Good Luck
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Postby Enigma » Sun Feb 23, 2003 8:00 pm

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Postby danielle » Wed Feb 26, 2003 11:38 am

i agree i think you need to talk to him first and then sit on your own and think could you deal with knowing or not but remember this go to be difficult for him to him might not know that you know and he might be a little shocked that you do know :wink:
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Postby Kat » Fri Mar 14, 2003 3:45 pm

I am worried about this.
He wouldnt Abuse you because he 'likes' you?
I think he needs to see someone and talk about this, as this is something that has to be sorted.
Being abused is something that is VERY serious, and i think his sister MUST talk to some one also! She is young, and no matter how long ago it was - she will in some way be affected by this in later life!
There is no excuse for abusing, Sexualy, physically, mentally or emotionally - to say that he maby done it to experiment is a lame excuse. Please try and get your friends to speak to some one!
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this is wrong

Postby princess » Wed Mar 19, 2003 11:32 pm

i was abused by my half brother but it was when i was much younger and he is 8 yrs older than me
i grew up all those years after it happened being able 2 act normal around him until i got 2 18 and i couldnt get it out my head i decided i had 2 tell but he denies it and im now left with severe depression
the police cant do anything as it was so long ago and theres no evidence
i think the parents of these children really need 2 know wots happened coz the girl might say shes ok with it now but believe me shes in denial and it will affect her later on trust me i know
and also what if this boy has an emotional problem which led him 2 do this he may need help in case he reoffends
luv caz xx
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Postby Kat » Thu Mar 20, 2003 2:22 pm

I completely agree with Caz.
I was abused also. You may think it is ok just now - but in later years it will have such an emotional affect on the victims life later on!
I know it is hard to tell some one, but please try to. It is a situation that is in desperate need of help, If anyone needs to talk to me, please feel free to leave me a message, i promise i will reply.
kat:O) xxx
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Postby danielle » Tue May 06, 2003 2:05 pm

i dont want to say this but have u ever thought that maybe she is lieing.
i didnt want to say it but i was reading ur problem again and i just thought if she has never told anyone why did she tell u ?
why didnt she tell any of his other girlfriends? and if he wouldnt do it to u why did she tell u?
i know this might sound nasty but with some think as serious as this i think u should consider all areas of the problem.
i am really sorry if i sound nasty
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I know this sounds bad

Postby Zombie » Tue May 20, 2003 12:51 am

I know this is gonna sound bad but what did she say he did exactly and it's proberly a harsh thing to say but there are diffrent levels of abuse. my brother tried it with me but hey 11 years later I found alot of goodness in me to forgive him god knows where but when I told my girl she hated him it's a horrible thing to have to explain to someone how you cope with it and trust me I dont think you take what she says as gospil neither

to firgive is sometimes harder than to try and forget and less messy
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Postby Gem » Tue May 20, 2003 9:34 am

Tricky one, although there is no excuse for any kind of abuse he was 11 at the time, it could have been curiosity and not intended to hurt his sister. I am not sticking up for him but you need to assess your own relasionship with him and as Zombie says, not take her word as the truth.
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