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change of plans

PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2003 1:21 pm
by hudson007
some plz help this is really doing my nut in! Ive been having a long distance relationship with this girl for nearly a year (180 miles). It has been going really well and we are in love. Im 20 & she's 18. She is starting a university near me in september. Until about 3 months ago she wanted to live with me while she was there, we were picking out furniture & everything. Then all of a sudden she wants to live in the halls of residence for a year. She says its not because she doesn't love me, but do any of you think i should be concerned? Also do u think it would work & would i be able to trust her?

PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2003 3:17 pm
by kitten
I expect she probably wants to be able to join in with the new people she meets at university and may feel left out from their social activities.

She probably needs a little freedom in her first year - be patient with her, getting to live closer together will be great for you both.

I think if I was in the same position I would want to be in the halls of residence for the first year too, this way she gets to know her class mates and has other friends in the city so she doesn't have to depend on you.

Dont worry

PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2003 5:27 pm
by Bubble
Perhaps she had a change of heart, and didn't feel ready to live with you. I think her moving near you is a huge and great step forward for your relationship!!! Be happy about that. Like Kitten said, she just probably wants to enjoy the first year at uni and make new friends etc. It wouldn't mean she loves you any less. I think it can work and you should continue to trust her. When she reaches her second year, she will need to find a local student house, so perhaps then you two may want to move in together. Best of luck hun.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2003 6:51 am
by Llisa
Hi hun,
I had a long distance relationship that lasted for a wonderful 6 months. The funny thing with LD relationships, is that you're so used to not seeing the person, that when you do, you kind of get a bit freaked out...even though you are really excited to see them. Your girl is most definitly not weirding out on you, and I really don't think you have a thing to worry about! Think of it from her point of view...she's moving far away from her friends and family and starting a whole new education...it's kind of scary! She just wants a little time to breathe and look around for a while, make some new friends and get herself settled. If she moved in right awa with you...she'd be haning out with all of your friends and she might very well feel like a third wheel. This is also a time for her to break out nad become an independent lady. Let her take her time, and you just might find out that she'll be coming to live with you in less then a year after all!
will be praying for you

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2003 3:04 pm
by hudson007
thanks for all the advice ppl! I know i was probably worrying about nothing, but it was just such a sudden change it freaked me out. After reading all your advice i said to her that i totally understand & that ill wait for her to be ready. But yesterday she said she wants to live with me now :-? so we will have to see what happens i guess. Ill keep you all informed. Thanks again!

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2003 3:23 pm
by kitten
Thats, women for you, we can never make up our minds!! :D

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2003 4:32 pm
by Bubble
Awww bless. Good luck with everything hun. x

PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2003 9:37 am
by sophie
i dont think you have anything to worry about, i think she just wants to move in there because it will give her a chance to get to know everyone on her course, dont take i personal it is a big thing starting a course in a place where you dont know anyone. I stayed in residents years ago when i was 18 and it was the best thing i ever did, she will not forget about you just give her time to adjust, she will probably be at your place most of time anyway, but it will give her somewhere to go if she needs a little space and there is a big difference between having a long distance relationship and staying with each other.

you are both still young live a little before you make this commitment to each other.

dont worry :D

PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2003 1:06 pm
by hudson007
thanks 4 all the advice. Its wierd though coz the tables have turned. Now she decided she wants to live with me & im the one freaking out! Like you said it is a lot different when u see each other everyday. But we get on great & i dont see how that would change. Its just a big step for me aswell, coz i lived wiv a gf before and that turned out to be a nightmare. Anyway thanks again xxx