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Re: Money, car troubles

PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:29 pm
by Bel Bel
My daughter was in her first crash on Friday.
A girl drove into her lane and hit the wing. She was a bit shaken but ok.
The car had a dent but it was good it happened as the car had an oil leak we hadn't spotted before so we wne and got that fixed for £40 and saved a lot of potential damage to the engine.
I know it's easy to say but you just got to get back into it as soon as possible and get your confidence back. Being a nervous driver is awful for you and scary for any potential passengers.
Face your fear and ask to borrow your friends car for the supermarket. You have offered to pay all her costs and it's always a risk an accident will happen and she knew that when she leant you the car. She can alwasy say no if she isn't happy about it.

Re: Money, car troubles

PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:38 pm
by dipsydoodlenoodle
I agree with Bel Bel

Re: Money, car troubles

PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:47 pm
by everloney
Thanks guys, i spoke to my housemate last night about it and he said i shouldn't drive my friends car as i have screwed her over once and it would be really horrible of me to do it again. He also said he thinks i don't take responsibility for my actions seeing as i wanted to drive the car again... but surely the fact that i thought about it and didnt just jump in the car means i took responsibility and thought of her. I still have the car its just sitting outside my house. So that made me cry, as my boss said something similar in a meeting on friday, he said he thinks i act child like to make my life easier.... god im welling up just thinking about this stuff..

So last night instead of driving i took the bus to karate and then i walked to the supermarket after (its about 2 miles) and then walked back..... sucked...... but i don't want to hurt my friend so its for the best, ill tell her today she can get her car whenever she is able to......

I have another meeting with my boss today, i had one on friday night and then he wanted all the work done by monday, so i had to work all weekend, i worked like 10am-11pm on sun!! and now he wants to see more work today..... i want to be rescued and taken home :(...

Re: Money, car troubles

PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:24 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
everloney wrote:Thanks guys, i spoke to my housemate last night about it and he said i shouldn't drive my friends car as i have screwed her over once and it would be really horrible of me to do it again. He also said he thinks i don't take responsibility for my actions seeing as i wanted to drive the car again...


Maybe they have different views in America but if you have an accident the last thing you want to do it dwell on it; you make a mistake, you learn, you become more careful - you can't do that unless you actually drive again.

Re: Money, car troubles

PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:49 am
by Bel Bel
Can you ask your boss to give you examples of when you have exhibited theis beahviour so you can work on it. That way you can see if he is just thaking the proverbial and trying to get you to do overtime for free.
He may be sensing the weak spots in you and exploiting them
I don't agree with your housemate. If your friend doesn't wnat to lend you the car thats her right and i would understand it but if she is fine about and you are paying her for out of pocket costs casued by your accident you have not screwed her over. If you didn't want to pay and still drove the car without her permission then maybe I could see where he is coming from.Takinf responsibility for your work on a weekend and paying for the car is not being childish at all, as dipsy says it's being responsible

Re: Money, car troubles

PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 6:38 pm
by everloney
Umm thats very good advise belbel, i should of asked him... i asked him what i had done wrong to cause him to say these things and he said, you've done nothing wrong.... he just doesn't get me.... then i had another meeting with him yesterday, (4 meetings in 4 days, shoot me now!!). this one was with two other people i work with and he was giving praise to another person for the work i was doing.... and i had told him about something i noticed in the lab (experiment wise) and in the meeting, he said to the other person, oh so you believe what shes saying then? like i wasn't believeable but if this other person believed many it was true, i felt like saying chuck you (sorry for the swear...). I didn't say this is how it is full stop, i said i think this might be happening because of this.... when he shot me down i asked what he thought it could be and why i was wrong and he said he didn't know.... basket....

Err this really upset me, i ended up crying in front of two of my work friends at different times. One moved here from England 5 years ago because of her husband, and ended up crying too saying its really hard at first and said i was brave for doing it alone, i am brave but im so tired of fighting everyday...

I think my housemate was out of order and i am unhappy with him, he has no idea that i am unhappy with him... i am thinking about talking to him and telling him, but i don't want things to be awkward, but he was soo mean i feel like moving out....Also its both our house but he acts like its his and i am just a lodger but then hell say oh its your house too.... errr

Then the car thing, my friend took the car back, i think she was alittle hissed i got into an accident but i said i would pay for all the damages and any increase in her premium. My other car has still not been returned.... My driving test is next tuesday, i am thinking of renting a car (you can use rented cars here) and then asking someone to come with me as i need someone with a CA driving licence... But then maybe it would be rude to ask someone to help me out.... I could go with a driving school but they charge $160 and to rent a car for the day its $30... also i am going to have to rent a car for when my sister and brother come as i don't trust my car that broke down 3 times to last.... and thats going to cost $400 errr I'm so stressed out....

Sorry for the long rant and sorry its abit off topic just so worked up, seems i always have things i need to deal with...

Re: Money, car troubles

PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:05 pm
by Bel Bel
You are having a tough time at the moment and people aren't being supportive like your housemate and boss

Your boss could be testing you to see how much you can take or he could just not like you (as in your personalities just clash)
Just keep doing what your doing and asking him what he thinks and advises. It sounds like this tactic is good because he doesn't actually have the answers himself so I think he will give up picking on you when he realises he just makes himself look silly all the time. It sounds like you are actually making progress at work so hang in there. Hopefully you can look back in a few months and laugh about how things are right now.

Your friend has the right to be a little upset but as I said accidents happen and she shouldn't have lent you the car if she didn't want it to get in an accident, this is risk everyday a car is driven out of the garage. I am sure she will calm down and be grateful you are willing to pay for her loses, there really isn't anymore you can do.

Hiring a car sounds like a good idea. Don't assume no one will help, just ask. The worst they can do is say no.

As for your housemate just leave it as far as the car comments, as you say you have to live together. As for him thinking it's his house can you give any examples so we can try to help you sort it out?

Hoepfully next year will be a better year and things will start to settle down.

As I said before don't make out it's all perfect to your family let them know how hard it's been and take their support when they are over and try to enjoy that time with them as best you can.

Re: Money, car troubles

PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:52 pm
by everloney
Well he has partys but doesn't ask if I'm ok with it first and i said next friday I'm having a party, just a little holloween gathering of a few of my friends from work, nothing big or anything and he got alittle funny. I'm doing it anyway, he had a big party the day after i moved in and had loads of people over and making mess....

As for the boss thing I'm just going to keep my head down and keep on working and hopefully he will be nicer to me then... its tough having a tough boss...

I have got my car back and at the moment its working so hopefully it will remain that way and give me no more grief...

Thanks for the support guys, its just nice to get these things off my chest