people in school

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people in school

Postby disturbed_mind » Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:39 pm

hi all
in school i was chosen as a prefect along with most of my mates. now we all thought great a chance for a bit of power and to be listened to. not so.
every day is such a struggle that i actually feel like im being treated worse. every day we get people thinking there all high and mighty because theres a big group of them but yesterday i got so annoyed that i grabbed one of them and smashed him into a wall. at which point they all scattered but came back a few minutes later with even more of them. the point is im getting so annoyed now that im starting to relapse into self harming again . and if this carrys on i swear to god i will kill one of them or ill get so bad that ill end up killing myself
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Postby crazy_in_love » Thu Dec 21, 2006 12:23 pm

what you need to do is just stop being a prefect. isnt there anyone else who would like to do it? even if there isnt im sure its not someting that you have to do is it??

Obviously doing this isnt doing you any good, and you come first, so I think thta giving that up would be a good start.

the self harming also needs to stop, u managed to come a long way so dnt throw it away by going back there!

you maybe need to talk to someone, anyone you can trust?

good luck, i hope it all works out for you
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Postby Wild Sage » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:39 pm

the only thing you are aloud to do is restraqin them you arnt aloud to hit them (uness you do it accidentaly) when im on prefect duty its true that you always get badly trated but you cant do anything about it but quit. what tends to happen is that if you hit them they say they will get a family member to hit you but i swear it is all empty threts.
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Postby disturbed_mind » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:01 pm

no its ok now im staying on as a prefect
ive stopped self harming again
and ive decided that if i get any more trouble someones gonna end up with a broken nose.
hoo boy theres gonna be a lot of broken noses at my school
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Postby Pwif » Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:40 pm

Steady on. You've been made a prefect to show leadership to these youngsters. Power doesn't just come from your title 'prefect'. The youngsters have to be able to look up to you and respect you, your behaviour and the way you treat them. It's a two way process. If you're having problems with them, why not get advice from your teacher(s). If they're really out of order and causing major problems, the school has to deal with this. Violence only breeds violence. You've obviously been made a prefect because your teachers believe that you can handle tough situations like this, so show that you can do so without using violence.
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Postby disturbed_mind » Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:41 pm

im not saying thats bad advice in fact its very good advice but the problem is most of the people in my school are so dense that they only react to something like violence
i understand that if i get given a title it doesnt mean that i instantly get power. but its just the mentality of the people who i have to deal with.
and the people who actually do their prefect duty are minute compared to the people who we have to deal with. somewhere like 20 people having to deal with around 1000 people.
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Postby peecee » Fri Dec 22, 2006 10:17 pm

Pwif is talking sense, and I agree with every word.

How do your teachers keep control? Because you should be able to rely on the same techniques as they do. And you should be able to rely on the teachers for backup.

If you ask someone to do something (which they should be doing anyway) and they say NO, how does the school tell you to deal with it? Obviously you should stay calm and look as if you're in control, even if you feel you aren't.

But the school shouldn't simply dump you in the deep end and tell you to get on with it, they should give you advice on what you can and cannot do. You should NOT be left feeling isolated and helpless.

Talk to your teachers about it. You won't look like a wimp, you'll look like someone who is taking their responsiblities seriously. And that will stand you in good stead in later years.

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Postby disturbed_mind » Sat Dec 23, 2006 11:56 am

Peecee i know Pwif is talking sense and i do also agree with it.

Very often our teachers cant keep control in the school.
If someone ignores us the teachers tell us to keep telling them to go out or whatever it is that we want them to do. but that hardly ever works.

Unfortunately the school didnt just dump us in the deep end.The other prefects did that. There should actually be about 100 prefects spread around the school keeping control. But in the first week the numbers slowly dwindled until there was the 20 of us who do it now.

We have tried talking to our teachers about it. Nothing came of it apart from they got the prefects in an assembly and all they said then was please do your duty,its a privilege, others look up to you Blah Blah Blah.

The only advice they gave us was that you cant hit them, but that was after one of us already hit someone.
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Postby retrochav » Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:57 pm

as you have discovered, its damn tough at the top! It shows that you are very mature and responsible to be given such a duty, but stepping down doesnt take those qualities away from you.

Being a prefect is one of the hardest jobs you can take. At the very point in time that we most want to challenge authority, you have become an authority figure. You will be tested to the limit.

You have two choices. You can decline the role, realising that whilst you are mature and wise, your peers are yet to reach that stage - and why should you be an unpaid policeman/woman.

Or you can see it as a challenge. I do childminding at weekends, and those three kids would test the patience of a saint! Yes i could use violence, but it wouldnt really get results - after all a world ruled by fear and intimidation wouldnt be workable. Instead i use reward and withdrawal (rewarding good behaviour through praise, bad behaviour dealt with by withdrawing a treat). Do you have the power to give detentions - or request a teacher does? Could you praise someone who does behave in the right way, as well as just punish those who dont.

It may be something to think about.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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