Dont feel like dancing!!!!!

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Dont feel like dancing!!!!!

Postby Anjelica » Tue Jan 23, 2007 8:57 pm

Question: How do you stop colleagues from trying to make you go the work party with them!? Take in to consideration you said No once already, its a small organization. And your very shy and self consious but they dont understand when u try to say it subtlle. Tips?
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Postby silver tree » Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:35 pm

Just say you have other plans that evening. Suggest another type of social event for everyone that you would feel comfortable at (even just drinks at the pub) for another night so that they don't think you're snubbing them.
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Postby Moose » Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:31 pm

Is that the reason you don't want to go, because you're shy and self conscious? If so, try what Silver Tree has suggested and just tell them you have other plans. If you're just not sure, you could always go down and meet them for an hour or so, then make your excuses - any excuse will do! But at least they can't moan that you didn't make the effort to go.
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Postby Pwif » Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:58 pm

Crumbs. This is a difficult one. I always used to hate going to social dos in my early days, because I was so shy. I used to imagine that everyone else had witty conversations, were totally confident, and wouldn't want to talk to boring me. I finally realised that if you put yourself in other people's shoes, you would understand that most people were nervous in social situations (unless they were naturally confident - and not many people are; or they'd got a lot of experience with meeting new people).

You can either cry off (give whatever excuse you want), and you might miss a good bash, and won't have conquered your shyness; or you could go along for an hour or so (stating you've got another social do that evening, so you've got an excuse to leave early) - as Moose says. You would then be making an effort (eg just listening to other people about their interests and background - people love talking about themselves). Each time you make an effort to socialise, it becomes easier.

Otherwise, you could say you'd got something else on that evening, but would be happy to meet up with colleagues doing something which you feel more comfortable doing (as Silver Tree says).

I used to be painfully shy, but now I always make an effort to be interested in whoever I'm talking/listening to. Once you put yourself in the other person's shoes, you forget about your own shyness.

Whatever you decide, hope it goes well for you. :P
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Postby queenieplum » Wed Jan 24, 2007 4:27 pm

Hi, I would go for an hour to make the effort, and then make your excuses and leave. If you really enjoyed yourself, then go to the next do, if not, don't.
If you go for that hour - you are not letting your shyness get the better of you. It sounds like the guys at work want to get to know you as you are a nice person. :D
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