Problem with a close colleague

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Problem with a close colleague

Postby jan25 » Thu Jul 05, 2007 8:24 pm

Hi everyone, hope someone here can give me some advice! i have worked very closely one on one for a portion of the day there is only her and I in the same room, for 7 years. Have always got on very well, told each other all our problems, families etc. I am a very laid back person who normally does not get stressed, she is the total opposite but I have been able to get over this without too much hassle. I am in charge of her and a few other people. Unfortunately she is the sort of person who always points out to me who is late (by about 1 minute!), who is not doing their job properly, sitting round talking etc. This could cause nastiness in the workplace but my attitude is if the work is getting done, everything is fine, everyone is happy whey is she worried. She talks about everyone behind their backs (including me I am sure!) and always tells me "I don't know how you put up with them you should say something, if I was in charge etc etc. She was in a particular vile mood yesterday and I finally flipped. She got invoved in something out of our control, nothing to do with us in our workplace and got all stressed out, stressed out another colleague so I went! I told her why is she getting invloved in the first place if it is stressing her out. Well, thats it now, she hardly speaks to me and told me it is about time she left anyway! I have sent her a text at home tonight asking if she is ok to try and calm the waters but she hasnt even had the decency to reply! I feel very dissapointed in this person who I have personally done a lot for, lots of favours and helped her trhough a bad patch in her marraige when hubby had an affair, why do people take offence so easily such as this? I feel really low because of her and am dreading going in to work in the morning
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Postby Bel Bel » Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:11 pm

Only seen this today so assume you've gone to work.
Tell her that you still appreciate her and have had a good realtionship and wouldn't want that to be destroyed but be firm and tell her she needs to back off where it's not her place.
If she can't take the truth sad as it is she will end up leaving anyway - I don't think you have done anything wrong just with hindsight (which none of us have) should have tried to tackle it before it came out on such a big issue
good luck
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Postby jan25 » Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:38 pm

Hi thanks for the reply, I have done virtually that this morning, it did not go down well at all at first, she would not listen until I repeated myself very clearly, and I think I did well, i did not raise my voice or swear or anything! Just put my points across to her and in the end she had to agree. At first she insisted it was all my fault! But after a while backed down and agreed she should not be doing what she is doing. Unfortunately she said some personal things about me which were totally irrelevant just her being nasty, and although she has apologised later and I have told her I have forgiven her, I know I will never forget this and never feel the same way about her ever again. Never mind we learn by our mistakes and you are right, I should have done something long ago but I was afraid of either hurting her feelings or causing anymosity as I have to work alone with her for part of the morning. I feel doubly betrayed as she was supposed to be such a friend! Thanks again for the advice :O)
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