Help! Boobs under siege from lecherous boss!

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Help! Boobs under siege from lecherous boss!

Postby squiffya » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:51 am

I started a new job as a legal secretary two weeks ago, working for two solicitors. One of them is a bloke, about 70ish.

On my first day I noticed him taking a really unsubtle glance at my chest when I was being introduced to him. It made me uncomfortable but I brushed it aside thinking that some blokes do just check out every woman they meet and, while unprofessional, it was probably just a one-off.

However, since then, he can't seem to have a conversation with me without having a good old gander at my boobs, even when I'm making eye contact with him which I find really disgusting and creepy. I don't have big 'uns either, nor do I wear stuff that shows cleavage so there's really no excuse - if I was wearing eye-popping outfits that shoved them in his face then I'd start covering up more. As it is, short of wearing a sack there's nothing I can really do - and frankly I don't think I should have to as I'm not wearing anything indecent.

I'm finding it very hard to work with him, in fact it makes me want to quit. It's my first legal job so he spends a lot of time explaining things to me and I'm supposed to be concentrating on what he's saying but am distracted and very uncomfortable with his obvious ogling. He'll be talking to me about something serious like a clause in someone's will and asking me if I understand while staring at my boobs. It makes me feel like a piece of meat and I hate the feeling that I'm paid to work for him and he seems to think that means he can stare at my body as though I'm a lap dancer. The other day he leant over me at my desk explaining something to me, he was really close and looking down my top. I was just trying to lean away from him and get through the work as quickly as possible to get him away from me - he obviously saw I was tense or something as he kept saying 'Are you sure you understand?'

I don't want this to continue and need some advice on how to tackle it. There's no HR department here, it's a weeny company - only 10 of us so I don't know who to talk to. My other boss is a woman a few years older than me but she's also the office gossip so I don't know how discreet she'd be. It's very difficult too as they've all known each for years and I'm worried I'll be seen as a drama queen/stirring up trouble. The man in question has 9 grandchildren and his office is plastered with pictures of his family - I imagine if I say anything he'll play the old 'I'm a very happily married, family man' card. I also think it's something he does automatically to every woman he meets and he probably isn't even aware he's doing it. This doesn't make it at all acceptable but it does make it harder to tackle.

There are two other secretaries here, both girls and both younger than me. When I first started one of them said that if she asks him how he is, he replies with stuff like 'All the better for seeing you'. She's only 20 and I know she doesn't like it but I think she finds it quite funny. I'm not sure whether to mention something to them to see if they've had a similar problem with him. They also mentioned that the offices have no air-conditioning and get really hot in summer but that it was ok because we were allowed to wear vest tops to keep cool - there's no way I'm doing that with old lechypants around. I guess I'll just have to boil in a poloneck!

I know it's him that's on dodgy ground what with sexual harrassment laws etc but I'm worried that I won't be taken seriously and, if I do say anything, it'll totally ruin our working relationship making it impossible for me to stay here. He's not flirtatious or lechy in any other way - I like working here apart from the tit-watching.

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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:00 pm

neXt timE he does simply say very matter of factly
"would you mind looking at my face when talking to me"
if he tries to get out of it say to him
"look we both know where your eyes were aiming lets keep this professional from now on shall we, i'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone was doing that to one of your granchildren"
faced with you being so upfront about it i thik he will be the uncomfortable one
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Postby Yellowcoaching » Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:18 pm

Or make an obvious gesture of checking your shirt or top. Ask him if you have spilled something on yourself.Repeat it every time his gaze moves south.
It avoids the confrontation you are looking to avoid but as Belbel says makes it clear you can see where his eyes are??
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Postby misskrystal » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:58 pm

Unfortunately in a small company, there isn't much you can do. Although you're entitled to the same rights as any other employee, without a HR department, you really have no one to help you. I'd try to stick with this job for at least six months, before leaving for a different company.

Until then get yourself a big note book and hold it over your chest whenever you talk to him.
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