Worried about a colleague

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Worried about a colleague

Postby whoopsie » Fri Jun 20, 2008 11:14 pm

Recently a colleague of mine who I get on really well with told me that she had left her partner. She was obviously quite upset and said she didn't want to talk about it which was fair enough. About a week later, she seemed much happier so I asked her why she had left. She said that he had knocked her around too many times. She has 2 young children with him and told me that they had wanted to go back home so she had moved back and her and her partner had agreed that the relationship was dead and they were now only living together for the sake of the children.

I remembered back to a few weeks before all this had happened, she had really bad bruises on her arms and I asked her at the time what they were from. She said that she bruises really easily. I didn't think any more of it at the time but I asked her about it again, and she was adamant that the reason she gave me before was the truth.

Yesterday, she came in with a bandage around her wrist. At first I thought it was a failed suicide attempt so I asked her about it and she said she had burnt herself on the iron :o hm... I asked her out right if she was telling the truth. She said that her ex wasn't even there at the time. I don't believe her. I'm not sure if anyone else is as worried as me. I don't work in the same team as her and although we get on well, I don't know her all that well. I don't really know who to speak to or if I even should. I'm so worried about her especially as she is coming into work all smily and happy. It's so over the top. No one is that happy to come in to work. Unless they are running away from someone/thing. Then, there's her 2 toddlers... what if he turns on them????

Any one got any ideas?
=^..^=
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Postby morris mouse » Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:30 pm

whoopsie wrote: I'm so worried about her especially as she is coming into work all smily and happy.


Hello,"whoopsie"

Firstly,even though there is evidence to show that you're colleague's
partner is being physically abusive towards her the positive side is
she has such a good friend,as yourself,watching out for her.

As for your colleague coming into work all smily and happy,this would
be due to the fact that,there,she can "escape" [even only for a short while]from her abusive partner.
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:37 am

To be honest there is nothing you can do
My mum stayed with an abuser for 10 years and I can tell you from first hand experience they won't leave until they are ready. They will lie and cover up for their partner and live in denial until one day they just can't take anymore.
Most people who are violent to their spouse aren't generally violent to the kids, but not always.
If you suspect the kids are being hurt call social services anonomously.
If you keep pushing her to tell you the truth she will probably end up not talking to you
As for being happy coming to work it is probably a safe haven for her where she knows she won't be hurt so she is genuiely happy there
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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Postby whoopsie » Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:11 pm

Thanks

I guess all I can do really is be there for her and help her if she asks for it. I hope I am wrong.
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