Had an affair with someone for work!

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Had an affair with someone for work!

Postby theicequeens2008 » Wed Sep 10, 2008 2:00 pm

Hey,

Im new here... but would really like some advised from people that dont know me.

Iv been at my work only a little while and nearly from day one i have liked someone on my team. We always flirted with each other and i got the feeling he felt the same way!.

Then two months ago we had a work do and we ended up getting very close. As we were both drunk we told each other how we felt. Which was the same way!.

Now my Problem here is that in engaged and have been with my partner for nearly for way over 5 year's. But he is married and is a dad!!

The next after work we kissed and from there on we had a 3-week fling. Until I decided to end it!

But until this day i cant get him out of my head. Another problem i have is that he sits opposite me, so i cant ignore him. We go through patches were we get really close, where we stare at each other ect….and i end up e-mailing him saying i wanna have some "fun" again, and he was thinking the same!

I Really really dont know what to do. A few people on my team know about whats happened as there not stupid and they have given me advise. But as there my "friends" they don’t always be completely truthful as they don’t wanna hurt your feeling!

So i would really Appreciate some advise, as what to do! Im sitting at work typing this while talking to him!!

I can see there are some people on here that have gone through similar situation to mine!

Thanks in advanced’s for any help!
Last edited by theicequeens2008 on Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Bel Bel » Wed Sep 10, 2008 2:23 pm

This is a not a good situation to get in

If you don't wnat to be with your finance anymore end it because it's unfair to string him along. If you do want to be with him you need to figure out whats missing that made you go elsewhere. Your finace isn't a mind reader so if something is wrong you need to tell him and give him the opportunity to work with you to put it right.

You only know this bloke on a part time basis so he is really a fantasy that you have no idea what he would be like as a partner in real life. That is of course if he wasn't married with kids. How would you feel if you husband and father of your kids did the same thing to you? If he can do it to her why do you think he wouldn't do it to you? Lets face it he is a cheat and he is using you or he would have left his wife if he was that unhappy. Or if he is truly unhappy he is a coward for not having the courage to leave her. And if he spounts that rubbish about staying for the kids I'm afraid it's proven to be more damage to a child to be in an atmoshphere where mum and dad aren't happy than to have two parents split and happy


If you can't get over him perhaps it's time to work somewhere else!
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Postby theicequeens2008 » Wed Sep 10, 2008 2:33 pm

Hey,

Thanks for your reply.

I agree with everything you have said. I do love him, and at the time when this happened we werent getting along at all, everyday we were fighting... but that is NO excuse what so ever!

Since i ended it we have got on like a house on fire (me and my partner that is). I sit there and look at him and think what a bad person i am!!!! You cant turn back time and what's done is done, but if i could i would!

As for "Him" he isnt happy in his marriage no, and he has cheated many or times before!. I know im just one in a long line of them!. The one thought that has never entered my mind is "What would he be be like as a partner". Just like you said i could never trust him! Plus he's 6 years older than me, so he wouldn’t exactly give me what i want in life!
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Postby Bel Bel » Wed Sep 10, 2008 3:11 pm

then he definately isn't worth throwing a lovely man away for
try not to get sucked in by his charm and focus on his bad points as much as you can when you get tempted
and your right you can't go back and undo the past but you can learn from it :D
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Postby theicequeens2008 » Wed Sep 10, 2008 3:23 pm

He is one of those very charming people, and i have got sucked into it bigtime!!! Just wish he would stop being flirty today... that really doesnt help!!

You have helped me lots thanks you!

I feel so much better now.
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Postby pink stripes » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:04 pm

hello
glad you're feeling better about it
all i can really suggest is don't flirt back, and have as little to do with him as possible
that way the less you have to talk/see him the less you will think of him
good luck :)
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Postby theicequeens2008 » Thu Sep 11, 2008 12:04 pm

Hey,

I dont flirt back anymore, just ignore it!. He dont like it tho, get a little stroppy like a girl ha!

It so hard not to have anything to do with him as we sit next to eachother, but i'll try my hardest! Luckly he isnt in today and i feel so happy and the wait it lifted of my shoulders!

Thanks Guys!
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