Sexual Harassment ??

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Sexual Harassment ??

Postby Sara_platermen112 » Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:15 pm

I have worked where i work for about 4 years first year i was an apprentice :) only 17. I have then moved in different offices and work full time.

There has been this man - everyone says hes a flirt and a pervert an i was like realllly as i never came across it until about 2 years ago, he made pervy comments - i'd go red an try an laugh it off.

i told my colleague an she was like gosh and rang HR an told them - didnt say names but said there was some inapropriate comments being said to another member of staff - they advised that i shold say something but to be honest i really didnt feel comfortable so when i saw him i quickly said hello an put my head down an walked off - i think he kind of got the idea.

Well anyway months after i needed someone in his office so i went upthere assuming he wouldnt be in there as it was half 6pm i(i was working late) but he was i had my waist belt on an he made a comment that it was too tight for me, so i was like oh right thanks... an went off trying to find this person i was after. afterwards he came into my office around half7 everyone had gone home i was alone, apart from a conference going on in the other rooms down. i work in events and was staying to cover it. he came in an said i apologise if i upset me i just needed to come in an say sorry (which he hadnt even upset me) as he was doing this he was walking towards me an put his hand on my shoulder an said he likes my belt it (in his words) makes my boobs look bigger. then stood there an said how much he likes my figgure - its amazing blah blah, i said he is making me blush an then went onto the convo of me an my partner! hinting... as he asked what i had been upto i said just trying to get a place with my fella. after he asked if i wanted a lift home which i said no.

Well i told my colleague and she rang hr straight away i was told to go up an speak about this - i explained it all an they are going to have a formal word with him, a warning. they said i could have took it as far as sexual harrassment an getting him sacked. but i am not going to do that.

The reason i am on here is coz i am scared... not in a frightened away but i feel so nasty. maybe i could of brought this on myself? i am a friendly person an maybe he could of thought i liked it? i never shouted when he says things like that to me i just blush. maybe i should of approcahed it all better.

Hes a teacher and works with 17 year olds so i know he must be the same with them. but why on earth do i feel so bad? i feel sick.. an i dont like it. i dont like upsetting people i dont want him to be upset or worried over his job. i know what he has done is wrong absoluately. but i dont know if i brought this on myself ???? im confused so not sure if this makes sence...? xxx
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:26 pm

I think he should be made aware his comments are totally inappropriate. If he is like this with you, he will be like it with the 17 year olds he works with. Also imagine it was your daughter and he was saying these things to her, I'm sure if she came home and told you about it you would be upset and wanting to do something about it. I think you should at least make management aware of it but tell them you don't want anything to happen, but that you are just letting them know, because if it happens to other people a lot they can take action. They might make sure he always has someone with him, or they keep an eye on him a bit more or maybe they move him locations so he doesn't work with young ladies.

If he goes out and rapes someone and he says he is innocent then the police can trace him back and if he has a history of saying/doing these things then he is more likely to get convicted.
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Postby Sara_platermen112 » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:20 pm

I understand it was the right thing to do. HR just contacted me – told me to go up again because they need to take it further.

Apparently they spoke to his manager an she wants to take it further or something I don’t quite understand and they cant explain anymore coz off confidentiality. My manager came with me an I asked her after an she said that the other manager of this man had prob had other complaints an she wants to take it in the correct manor now as its gone to far? So got to do a statement. Just feel sooooooooo baddddddddd….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im scared now incase he starts saying things like she loved it etc. what happens if he always though i was wanting him to speak to me like that? im sure i never came across like that? but what happens if he thought i was??? xxx
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Postby I_AM_LEGEND » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:22 pm

kick him in the crotch and tell him to grow up and stop being a creep,

i'm sure you didnt lead him on in anyway he sounds like an idiot tbh hun, xx
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Postby Bel Bel » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:39 pm

he is a creep and has made you feel guitly becasue he is obviously good at it and got away with it before
you really really have nothig to feel guilty about and have probably saved a lot of other girls from this nasty man - try and think of it that way round
you are not horrible and judging from lots of your previous posts I find it very hard to believe you ar the sort to lead a man on
yes you may have been slightly naive and not dealt with it firmly in the begining but i'm not surprised your young and thats probalby why you were a target for him
If there have been other incidents no one is going to believe any stories he might spout
Please try not to worry so much and make sure you tell your partner everything thats going on
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Postby rufio89 » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:45 pm

I agree with everyone else - I understand why you'd feel that way, but you are absolutely within your rights here, he's a creep and should be treated as such. It might make his life worse, but it's his own fault, and will hopefully teach the sleazebag a lesson!
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Postby Sara_platermen112 » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:59 pm

Well hr now tell me that are going to approach him in a different way they tell him tonight - basically saying, we had (my name) go up there to ask for some advice as to how to approach some inapropriate behavour and then resulting to this they also found out he had been doing the same to someone else?? therefore they have to take it futher etc etc.... so it doesnt sound as bad - i feel alot better.

Thanks for you so much for your advice :D xxxxxxx
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:15 am

He shouldn't be saying these things anyway. If he gets these comments back from someone then fair enough cos it can be a bit of flirting but most people are more subtle. I think he's just a wierdo.

When I first qualified as a first aider at my old work place I was talking to one of the older men (late 50s) there and he said "I've a lump on my crotch do you want to feel it" ... I suprisingly said no, and left. Needless to say I still avoid him when I can. I told my manager at the time, I think she said I could report it if I wanted but I didn't because it was the ONE and ONLY comment he said to me (and I think he wsa generally asking for advice on this lump from a 'first aider'. If he had said anything again I would have been straight there complaining to the HR people. It's the same principle with you, if it was a one off incident then ok, he may have been trying his luck but for it to have happened again AND with other people you definately did the right thing by reporting it.
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