I'm being bullied...

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I'm being bullied...

Postby fabulous&Thick » Fri Nov 07, 2008 11:38 am

I would like some advise, I am being bullied by work colleague everyday and I don't know what to do about it!

He comes across so helpful and sincerer but he is a devil. I try to ignore him but I can't and I have been placed right next to him. He is so childish and lazy!!

When he gets bored he messes around with my chair settings whilst I'm sat on it so my seat just drops down. Its quit frightful when your not expecting it. He sits and kicks my chair randomly throughout the day.

I do not provoke him and try my best to avoid eye contact, unfortunately I do need to speak to him on rare occasions - when this happens he won't help or answer my questions unless I agree to make him a cuppa! I try to laugh it off but I know he's doing it out of spite.

He hits me with a ruler all throughout the day and forces me to sign him in on the phones when he comes in late! He also constantly asks me to do his work - I always refuse but he then writes mean messages on post its on sticks them in front of me!!

I am very short and he always picks at this and says horrible things. I feel like I'm sat in a classroom with a 12 year old...!

I want to tell someone but I'm so scared that he'll batter me one day outside of work if I do. I am getting more and depressed and anxious when I come into work.
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:11 pm

I have two options here,

1 - he likes you (being like a little kid, being mean, getting your attention).
2 - he's an idiot, if he is so annoying can't you have a word with him or ignore him until he gets the hint, or speak to a manager and say his behaviour is annoying (for want of a better word)...

oooh option 3 - Play him back at his own game :-)
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Postby m_m » Fri Nov 07, 2008 1:31 pm

dipsydoodlenoodle wrote:

1 - he likes you (being like a little kid, being mean, getting your attention).
2 - he's an idiot, if he is so annoying can't you have a word with him or ignore him until he gets the hint, or speak to a manager and say his behaviour is annoying (for want of a better word)...

oooh option 3 - Play him back at his own game :-)

I agree with "dipsydoodlenoodle". Bullying can often be a sign of a individual who is not good at expressing their feelings in a more conventional way. It may be the case that he does fancy you and doesn't know how else to show it. If he is often touching you i.e. hitting you with the ruler and messing around with your chair that I would say that it is very likely.

However, whatever the case this is not appropriate behaviour and you need to put a stop to it however you can. He seems incredibly immature so I am not sure if the adult approach will work but I think it is definitely worth a try before taking it further. Warn him off and tell him that you do not appreciate how he is acting and you are both there to work and his behaviour is stopping you from being able to do that. Give it a couple of days and if he has not improved then take it higher and tell them that you asked him to desist and he has continued to bully you. This will show that you are being the adult in this situation and you are trying to be as professional as possible.

Good luck! x x
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Postby Sara_platermen112 » Fri Nov 07, 2008 1:33 pm

I wouldnt play him at his own game but i would either have a word with him, it kind of sounds like he likes you yet it kind of sounds like hes an immature 5 year old.

You can either as i say talk to him, tell him you dont appreciate his behavour and it doesnt make you laugh and you find it slightly annoying - just basically say you come to work to work instead of being insulted/irrated.

If this doesnt work then i suggest to speak to your manager.

If you are like me and dont dare be so upfront and honest i would blank/ignore anything he does dont laugh along - dont give him that attention he wants and needs (kid) I have someone in this office who is soooooooooo lovely but yet sometimes she is such a sausage cow to me. i used to laugh along but now when shes in one of them pathetic moods i ignore her an she shuts up. If he asks you to do his work tell him to sod off an do it himself! if he writes stupid messages just give me a stupid look an say how immature. he will feel small and stupid an prob wont bother doin it again xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx let me know how u get on x
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Postby morris mouse » Fri Nov 07, 2008 3:58 pm

Being bullied at work makes for a long day (& a difficult situation :()that's for sure.

Also,I can't see that as someone bullies you,means that in some way they like you (quite the opposite)

I wouldn't say anything,yourself,to the bully,as they may enjoy the fact
that they've hurt you.

Try talking to a supervisor,as,one thing I do agree with. This situation
has got to stop.
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Postby lilessexgal » Fri Nov 07, 2008 4:59 pm

does he know how you feel?

maybe he doesnt realise just how annoying he is being.

for example the signing him in thing if he is late, because you agree to do it everytime perhaps he doesnt realise that it annoys you.
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:50 am

Just refuse to sign him in and keep any notes he writes as evidence.
Do you have anyone who witnesses to the chair and ruler incidents.
I would definately report it though you cannot go on like this.
Tapping you with a ruler is completely different than beating you up out of work that is a bit unlikely as he knows the police would get involved.
Start a diary of all the things he does including times and dates
After a week go and see a seupervisor or manager with all the details
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